discuss amongst ya-selves……. 

:: RHOSLC :: 

Gawd this show.  Hallelujah.  It is the BEST.

The Met Gala luncheon?!?! EVERYTHING.
I should probably put “Met Gala” in quotes because I’m not sure what was happening, but I’m here for it.

The smiles and opening up without interrupting didn’t even last long enough for Valter and sidekicks to return to their corner to watch the ladies enjoy the truffle pasta before Mary gives her crazy eyes at Jen Shah, Jen gets pissed about the crazy eyes and comments on them, Mary gets pissed at Jen Shah for commenting on the crazy eyes, and then suddenly Mary is calling Jen “ghetto” and a “hoodlum”.
Jen doesn’t miss a beat and slams back with “you won’t even go to a 7-11 if there are black people standing outside.”
EXCUSE MEEEEE?!
I thought we were enjoying LV ear buds and monogrammed Boss Babe journals while
Valter serves palate cleansers in a frosted martini glass but DAYUM.

And the craziest part of ALL OF THIS it that it SEEMS TO BE TRUE.  The norm in Housewives is that when accused of something heinous like this you refute it with fiery hell like Mary would rebuke the devil, wether it is true or not.  But apparently Mary, much like hospitals, doesn’t do convenience stores.

(Mary has since denied it in the press – aka since it aired and public backlash – butttttt if ya don’t deny it when it’s said at the Met Gala, and you don’t deny it in your confessional, I’m preeeeeety sure you said it.)

What else,what else…….
Meredith and Seth are essentially done and I am still SHOCKED seeing this happen right at the kick off of a season….

I can’t blame her for saying Hell to the No about moving one more time for his job.
Lisa seems to thing it’s pretty easy for them to kiss and make-up, though.  You just toss his Rolex out the car window into a snow bank and have him shower you with gifts for no reason and IT WILL BE FINE.

Take a drive through Salt Lake City doing a Fast Food Crawl and you will live happily ever after.

Whitney seems so lovely.  She’s working so hard to support her dad.
….. I am still verrrrrryyyy concerned when I see that hair…. knowing that he was a successful hairstylist….. but focusing on the important things here….. 

Heather is still getting 5 Star reviews from me week after week.

When she went after Jen at the 20’s party and yelled “don’t let them clear my lollipop chicken while I’m gone” and said into the phone to Coach Shah “look for the flapper with cankles” my never ending love for her was sealed.

I normally cannot stand when they show the little tid bits of the kiddos on other Housewives shows, but seeing the scene of Heather with her girls and her daughters boyfriend was so cute and normal.  but to Beverly Hills : I do not need to see Lisa Rinna’s daughter every other scene, apartment shopping with her CVS receipt length list of must haves and her 5K “budget”.

This show is truly EVERYTHING.

:: RHOC :: 

Braunwynn has had QUITE the year.  I should have seen all of this coming because we know renewing vows on a Housewives show is the curse that ends it all.  And I’m not saying I don’t have empathy for Braunwyn, and I TRULY cannot imagine attempting to get sober for the first time in a zillion years as a pandemic hits, but sometimes she makes it really hard to back her up.

The conversation in the kitchen with her husband and daughter was extremely uncomfortable to watch.  Her daughter who has had issues with eating disorders and OCD is trying to talk about how she is worried about girls like her unable to be getting the help they need due to Covid and Braunwyn *snaps* at her to STOP, STOP doing that it’s your OCD.  Then she freaks out screaming at her daughter and husband about interrupting her when she wouldn’t even let her daughter speak about her own things.  The way her daughter was sitting there silently looking at her was so hard to watch.

ANYWAYS, since the vow renewal Sean and Braunwyn have separated but are married? And now she has come out as a lesbian in a relationship with a woman but I think her and Sean are still living together? And she wants to stay married?! I’m just confused how if she is a lesbian she would want to stay married to Sean? Because I don’t think she’s saying it’s a thrupple? She publicly said she’s never been attracted to Sean, the man she had SEVEN children with.  I meannnnn Sean seems like he’s getting the real short end of a VERY long 20 years and 7 kids whilst enabling an alcoholic stick here?  I’m glad she’s living her truth and living her sober life, but can’t Sean take his necklace collection and go find himself someone who won’t attack him and hit him him in front of their young son?! Perhaps HE deserves to live his truth too?

Did I type enough question marks in that paragraph???????????? 

I like Elizabeth Vargas – the newbie on the show – because I truly cannot figure her out.  I don’t know why the women give a damn – they contradict themselves all the time and bitch about the same things they are complaining about with her: husbands and money – but whatever.  I don’t disagree that she makes NO sense.

She was just on the Juicy Scoop podcast and I am even more confused by her than ever.  Give it a listen.  I don’t really understand why she can’t say dates or ages or all of these other trivial things, but she can say ALL the other stuff about her ex and their relationship?! Seriously, go listen to it because I’m so confused.

and in conclusion:  yes, I’m mad at myself for even watching OC, let alone discussing tiny bits of it, but…. ugh 2020.

:: RHOA :: 

I don’t like seeing everyone living through Covid on my shows.  I watch this show to escape my own reality BUT I’m glad we have our shows!
Porscha has come SUCH a long way.  Love her.
I used to not be able to stand Kenya, but ever since she got with that ass hat I feel so badly for her.  I want her to run like the wind with her baby away from him (and tell Ashley Darby to do the same!)

I can barely remember anything that has happened because my mind is SPINNING from the final scene with the new housewife and her husband when they were celebrating their 6th year anniversary.
I MEANNNNNNNN.
SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?

I wanted to leap across the table FOR HER.
Seems like the two newbies will be excellent new additions to the cast.

:: RHOP ::
Dayyyyyummm.  The finale and part one of the reunion.
Can we just get Michael Darby banned from ALL of Bravo forever and ever?! PLEASE?!
Can Ashley – who is SOMEHOW pregnant with the second child of this dreadful man – please give birth and never look back.

Only Robin can witness a complete throw down from Michael Darby moments after an engagement and be like BYE, I’m gonna keep partying and not give a damn.
The way Michael went after those producers?! I CAN’T.  At least we got to witness Ashley reacting in a normal fashion to her husband acting like an ass hat.  Sometimes I worry all of that yoga is doing more harm than good.  Sometimes I worry that peaceful, zen mindset is making her NOT REALIZE SHE IS MARRIED TO A MONSTER. But…. Namaste.

THE REUNION.
I was very much looking forward to this.
I don’t know why on earth I thought Monique would ATTEMPT to save face by offering some fake regret over things from the season, but she arrived ready to BURN THE PLACE DOWN.  With her BURN BOOK IN TOW.

She brought a full binder, with tabs for each lady (the “last lady” tab for Giselle did make me laugh) FILLED with receipts on ALL OF EM.

They didn’t really get into the Monique and Candiace issue in Part 1 (I don’t think… maybe a little?!) Or maybe I just don’t remember because I pretty much blacked out after realizing that behind that Last Lady tab was a BOMB she waiting to drop on Giselle about her ex-husband Pastor Jamal now boyfriend who is apparently still up to his old ways with the ladies in the congregation.

I love me some Giselle.

I love the way Giselle handled the delivery of the news (or rumor…. who knows…. yikes) about Jamal and another lady and possibly another baby.  The reading of his phone number out loud!!!! And Gisele just pauses and says “yeah…. that’s his number.”

do we think it’s true?! I don’t know about another baby – I feel like the tabloids would have spilled that?!
but the cheating?! methinks yes.
BUT I don’t think she’s ever been with him for a storyline.  She wouldn’t do that to her kids who clearly were AGAINST this relationship all season long. 

:: BELOW DECK ::
I mean……. the Chef’s are always crazy on these shows, but Rachel. is. next. level.

I guess the better the food the crazier the charter yacht chef?
Maybe that’s why Kiko couldn’t cut it – he was too sweet.

I’ve also never heard quite a MOUTH LIKE THAT, even from the male chefs in all of the history of the show.  I can tolerate as many bleeped curse words as a show wants to throw out there, but the constant “eat my c@@ter” talk was A LOT.  A. LOT.

And Elizabeth is truly terrible.
Even Shane was more aware of what a crappy crew member
he was than this chick mixing War Bombs in the crew mess.

:: MR. AND MRS. GIRARDI :: 
Erika and Tom (RHOBH) filed for divorce and the rumors are SWIRLING.
(short version : Tom has been taking money from clients settlements and funneling it into Erika Jayne’s company and funding her lifestyle/brand through all of his money that is not his, but rather settlement money)
I feel like I believe the rumors.  I just don’t see Erika ever divorcing him? Unless she is divorcing because she knew everything was about to go down so she’s trying to protect herself? Which I do think she’s trying to protect herself from the situation but I think the divorce was planned to try to make this case more manageable or something legal that I clearly don’t understand.

Lemme know your thoughts.  BUT, if she tries to act like this can’t be talked about on the show (I think they were filming before Kyle, Dorit, and Little Kathy ALL came down with Covid last week) I will lose my mind.  I know she’s going to say she can’t talk about it because “it’s an open legal matter” but she BETTER at least give some commentary about the “divorce”.  PLEASE.

But really…. how on EARTH could someone be affording to have that glam squad gaggle of 72 men flying all around the world with you?! HOW?! HOW?! The amount of money being spent just on Erika walking out the door is ASTOUNDING.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM :: 

Is Kathryn finally done?! Can she finally be done?! Please?! And if she leaves the show can we bring back Naomi, Cam, and Chelsea?!  SHE IS THE WORST.

:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK :: 
I am not an LVP fan, but the news of Giggy’s passing is tough one for Bravo lovers everywhere.

:: MAZEL OF THE WEEK :: 
Jax + Brittany revealed they are done with Vanderpump Rules! In a joint IG statement that Brittany couldn’t even be bothered to edit to change the name in, no less!
Something tells me all the Pregnant Pumpers are going to be doing their own spinoff show though, so I’m not hopeful they will be off of my television screen forever.

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
my apologies for lack of weekly Coffee Talk like the good old days.
My little twin loves take after their mother and if the television is on their eyes are LOCKED and IN LOVE and want nothing else which leaves me little time for my beloved TV until late at night.
I’m also too tired to proofread my own nonsense,
so if this reads as though Teresa Giudice wrote it…….sorry not sorry. 

images from : bravo, giphy, us weekly, people, enews, reality tea, tenor