I hope you all had a great weekend!

You may have seen on instagram that I’ve been keeping some pregnancy secrets the past week and have been posting from bed rest at the hospital as opposed to my big comfy bed wedged in between my larger than life pregnancy pillow.
So I wanted to share some updates on the girls, who are still cozy in my tummy and doing great

Last Monday morning, after getting home the night before from Chicago and my husband getting home from a 5 day trip, we woke up on MLK Day and headed into my 28.5 week ultrasound appointment.  My entire second trimester I had felt great.  It was so nice after the UGH of the first trimester to enjoy being pregnant and still have energy and feel like my old self.  All this to say that I had NO clue anything was going on with my body.  I had gotten a bad cold and the weekend of my baby shower in Chicago was feeling rough, but that was because of the cold, not because of pregnancy.

So when we went in for the ultrasound, both babies were doing just fine, but my body was apparently ready for labor and getting it going.  In the 2 weeks since my last ultrasound, my cervix had gone from long and closed (what you want for those unaware, because I was and sometimes still am pregnancy clueless – the less details with certain things the better) to completely unmeasurable and a big black void on the ultrasound screen in front of me.  I still didn’t really understand what was going on,  but the ultrasound tech said something about my cervix not looking like it did last visit and then went to get the doctor.  Usually when the doctor comes in she comes in alone and does another little ultrasound we discuss everything they found and I’m out the door.  This time she came in and the tech came with her so I was like CRAP what is she about to tell me? I’m getting put on bed rest aren’t I?? All I thought they were going to say was to stop working and to take it easy at home…….I wish!

The doctor asked me a lot of questions about if I’d been feeling contractions, had bleeding or spotting,  some lady questions, felt this or that, etc etc.  I was like “ummmmm nope!” I sure as heck would have come in if I felt any contractions or bleeding.  I was like, I feel just fine?! I said i don’t know what a contraction feels like but I’m a pretty big wuss so I think I would have noticed?! It wasn’t until she checked me with a speculum and said “okay good well I don’t see any mucous membranes” that I realized “Good God it looks bad enough that she thought I was completely open or effaced or WHATEVER they call it and literally in labor.”

So. I was informed we’d be going downstairs right away to get hooked up on some machines, given drugs to stop the contractions, and given steroids for the babies lungs. I think we both were just in shock.  I asked a few times if THEY were okay and as assured they were, but that we needed to keep them inside me as long as possible.  I must have asked something about how long it takes to stabilize everything, about if I were staying overnight, and she tried to calmly let me know without freaking me the hell out that I may not be leaving the hospital until the babies are born.
I was just in shock from everything that nothing was clicking.  That I was trying to go into labor at 28.5 weeks, that it could still happen no matter what they did to stop it, that I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital at all.

Now.  This is all “common” or “not uncommon” (doctors never want to say normal or common…..) for twin pregnancies.  It’s nothing crazy or earth shattering at all.  But it was to me!!!
Basically the only goal of course is to stay pregnant and keep the babies inside me and growing.
Because it’s just too soon!

To recap the last 9 days, the babies are doing great.  My body has responded well to the drugs and my cervix looked much better just a few days later.  They took me off the drugs to make sure my contractions were still stable and we did another ultrasound yesterday at 29.5 weeks.  Both girls looked great, but they’re keeping me here (for now….possibly for-ev-er.)  I’ll have another ultrasound on Thursday to check my cervix and I’ll be 30 weeks on Thursday so we’ll go from there.  I’m taking it one day at a time now and one week at a time….. but 30 weeks (two days from now) was my first big goal to reach.  so I’m very happy and relieved that we are only 2 days away from that.
My OB had her twins at 30 weeks with no complications with their lungs or brain and barely any NICU time.  And thank to the AMAZING comments from all of you and instagram messages I know that many of you have been in the same boat, had early deliveries, and had healthy happy babies.
I know that I am in the best place I can be in this hospital bed that is killing my coccyx and all my hard work at PT  and that all that matters in the end is that the babies stay in and stay healthy and growing!

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers for the babies.  It means so much to me! Just pray they stay nice and safe and cozy inside for much longer….. we’ve had discussions and I’ve told them it’s way more fun in there than it is out here.   But thank you so so much!!!!

I have lots of posts that I have never gotten to, so the plan is to just go with it and post from bed and take it day by day!
So if you see an outfit post or two, rest assured it was taken prior to this bed rest situation and that I didn’t bust free of the hospital 🙂

I’ll do another post another time on where my mind wanders and the complete state of dissarray of everything at our home and how nothing is done and how my to-do list is never ending and I’ll never get to any of it…… but then it always goes back to none of that matters.  At all.  And everything is fine.
And even though I have my moment of crying every day and wanting to lose my mind……. if anyone can bed rest like a boss bitch…. it’s me.  Perhaps it’s a sweet little gift from the girls, letting me get a little extra TV time before there is no TV time ever again 🙂 (and I love you all and your optimism that I’ll have tons of time to do things when they’re newborns including watch TV while nursing and fun things like that, but I have yet to hear a twin mom say anything even remotely close to that haha).