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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

home, Lifestyle

fiddle me this

October 21, 2014

image
    
after almost a month, we are finally settling into our new home.
which cleaaarrrrly is not the photo above. in case you slipped something in your coffee to get through your workday and needed clarification. 
I’m shocked at how “homey” it already feels, and how I haven’t thought about our old apartment I called home for 5+ years at all too much.  If you know me, you would expect to see me standing outside the apartment staring at it crying, probably with a boom box overhead, but for the apartment not a person 🙂 
but I’m a big-ass-married-lady-grown-up now, so that means I magically handle change SO well. 
(I have, however, drafted a blog posted with the top reasons why I do NOT miss our old apartment….. if I had a therapist I think they would be very impressed with my self-soothing….. 
note to self :find therapist who makes me think I’m sane).

anyways, I’ll be posting pictures of the pad in all its glory soon. 
this weekend when I was getting a stud finder at the local hardware store 
(listen to me, I might as well move to the suburbs, put on my mom jeans, and start painting tiny furniture for doll houses)  
I stumbled across this little beauty.
after years of loving and wanting one, I got us a fiddle fig. 
isn’t she lovely??? (break into lionel richie) 

now, 
fiddle me this…
see what I did there? eh!? eh!? slaps thigh. 
when you google instructions for how to care for it – it never tells you an actual amount of water.
it just says on EVERY site to water so that the top inch is dry BUT the soil underneath is moist.
um. monogrammed planter. yes. now. 

so like…… how much water do I start with the first time I water it for that to happen? because it’s like DO NOT OVERWATER. OVERWATERING IS HELL.  so I’m sitting here with my little monogrammed pottery barn pitcher pouring tablespoons of water out and then sticking my finger in the damn pot and asking kip what to do. I’m like it’s dry but its wet but its dry? 
(kip internally : are you going to be this dumb as a parent.
me internally : oh, puh-lease……. yes.) 
image
so tell me all about your fiddle figgery and special tips 🙂 
also, tell me how you can’t keep any plants alive like me and make me feel better. 

PS. WHERE DO I FIND A CUTE PLANTER TO PUT IT IN BEFORE IT DIES??! 






by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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Comments

  1. Cocktails at 6 says: October 21, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    You're too funny! I actually do have a black thumb and have managed to kill nearly every plant in my possession except for my fiddle leaf fig. It wasn't without some drama, mind you. The first month or so, the plant was dropping leaves like Kanye name-drops himself. After copious amounts of googling, I determined that the plant needed to be in the sunniest room in the house (and close to the windows, but not too close), and that it works best on a schedule. I only water it on Friday mornings – about 3/4 of a pitcher of water.
    But that was only to keep the thing alive… I was informed by a friend who had a FLF that was THRIVING that she occasionally puts some miracle grow in the water. Not to be outdone, I now drop about two to three drops of liquid miracle grow in the pitcher of water every other week. The plant is now growing a new leaf nearly every two or three weeks.
    They are very finicky, but it's so worth it when you manage not to kill them. I think my husband hopes I'm more successful with children than I have been with our houseplants.

    Good luck!

  2. Letra says: October 21, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Ha! Dying at the visual of testing the soil.. I water mine once a week, one cup for every foot of plant (read that tip on the blog, Little Green Notebook). I've kept mine alive for nearly a year now. Good luck!

  3. Tenny Taylor says: October 21, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Where did you find yours in Chicago? I will probably buy & kill within the week

  4. Caroline McBride says: October 21, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    omg we've had one for like 3 months so you KNOW you can keep it alive if i have tayo!!!! godspeed my friend.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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