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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

August 30, 2012

discuss amongst ya-selves…….. 


YAY for baby Edward Duke Rancic

and a serious high five for being celebrities who don’t want to ruin your child’s life so you choose a normal name. so excited for them!
look at me…. being nice already…. what is happening today? 


um. what

Holly is pregnant?? Holly was dating someone? 
And perhaps this is just an awful picture, 
but he looks like a creepy clay statue.


skinny Matthew McConaughey is REALLY creeping me out. 
it doesn’t even look like him?

he even has that skinny clavicle neck thing (jealous).


Now, a whole lot of Housewives chat,
because the episode was just too damn good! 

Ramona – yes the house in St. Barts is HUGE.

There is an H on it… it’s not UGE. UGE.
and you are way too old to be wearing a bikini like this,
especially with carole and the others in a bikini next to you.


God I love Carole. She has the best one liners.
Sonja + Romano are definitely the crazy drunk Aunt’s you’re embarrassed to introduce to your boyfriend.


Can Sonja keep it in her pants for 5 seconds?
Geez.


It’s like every man, young/old, hideous/hot (although mostly hideous), within 50 feet she sniffs out and wants to hump their leg.  
I definitely believe the rumor that you are on pills.
In fact, I’m hoping you are on pills and drinking like Kim on RHOBH….. 

via
otherwise you need to be locked up.

And why is she getting her hair done by someone every single day of the vacation???

And finally, LuAnn. 
He doesn’t look like Johnny Depp, he looks like CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW.  And who the hell wants to sleep with either of them quite frankly? 


“I’m not just any pirate woman.  I’m an indian.  Don’t f*** with me.” What?!?
And a little tip for the Countess: if you are going to make up some horrible fake story to try to cover your cheating with A MAN DRESSED AS A PIRATE don’t talk on the phone about your lies while you are wearing a damn microphone.  No one would have believed you before, and certainly no one believes you now.  
Cheating while filming a reality show with cameras and microphones and thinking you’ll get away with it? The Countess is a dumbass.  



can’t wait for Aviva to arrive and let all hell break loose.


how many self portraits can one person take of themselves? 
you and Kanye must just lay in bed at night with personal mirrors staring at your own reflections.
taking you out of the equation, I do love the dress.

and finally, I officially cannot stand Taylor Swift
not only is your new song so terrible I can’t put it into words,
but now you are blabbing about buying a house next to your Kennedy boyfriends family.
have you not learned to SLOW THE HELL DOWN from all of your previous train wreck relationships? You are 22… and something tells me this relationship won’t be your last.
but… I did just realize that she is 22 and he is 18.
yes…. she is 22 and he is 18.  4 years – sure – but at that age 
IT IS A CENTURY.
and it is really damn creepy.  
like 6 months ago would be illegal creepy. 
and please for the love of God just hire a damn stylist.

xoxo

by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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Comments

  1. Charlotte says: August 30, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Hate Taylor Swift. I heard her new song and thought that I could have written better lyrics! Ridiculous.

    And I kind of gagged over Matthew Mc. Oh my gosh I wanted to vom. I love him and he just looks ridiculous now.

  2. For All Things Lovely says: August 30, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    Hahaha–again totally agree 100%! It's like we share the same brain! I love Giuliana and Bill, so happy for them! Have a great day! xo.
    Meg

    http://www.forallthingslovelymr.blogspot.com

  3. ashley nicole catherine says: August 30, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    omg RHONY is all i can focus on because REALLY, luann?? she is so trashy and gross and fake. did you hear about sonja and ramona allegedly hooking up? so weird. anyway, i love carole and how funny she finds the whole group. and george clooney dated her?? can we be bffs?

  4. Camille Marie says: August 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Thanks to you I don't have to watch crappy TV. I LOVE IT!

    Totally hear you on TS. What is up with her lately.

  5. Jess | the Jess Journals says: August 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Ewwww Matthew McConaughey! is that REALLY what he looks like now? Crazy!!

    And about Taylor Swift needing a hairstylist…LOL!!

  6. Dina Aizenstadt says: August 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Where to begin….seriously Kim enough with the pics! We get it – you're hot. Enough.
    RHONY this week my jaw was on the floor. These women are insane!!! And OMG Carole's bod- hot damn. Ew to Luann and Ew to Sonja. Cannot believe they expected Aviva's hubby to stay at a hotel! Bonkers. K thanks for the morning laughs as usual!

  7. Sara says: August 30, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Once again I am dying laughing! I am so glad I found your blog! Matthew looks down right gross. What happened? RHONYC…wow. Can't wait for part duex. Should be good! Last but not least, I CANNOT stand Taylor Swift either. She gets on my last nerve! And yes, her relationship is majorly creepy!
    Cheers,
    Sara
    http://www.SocialSara.net

  8. Melissa W. says: August 31, 2012 at 2:56 am

    You make my Thursdays :-)!

  9. Nat says: August 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Hahaha love this as usual- NYC housewives are just sooo cray, I mean I don't even have words anymore!! Ohhh I can just imagine Kim K and Kanye just talking about how awesome they are to each other all day long. What is TS's problem!! I totally agree I could not believe he was 18!! 4 years is a HUGE difference when you're that age, it just seems wrong and why can't she slow down!? I guess she needs song writing material, I hope he's ready for a song about him in a year or so.

  10. Natalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers} says: August 31, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    I'm so happy for G and Bill. What a long journey to have that sweet baby boy. Hollys boyfriend is totally creep. From Hugh to Chris Angel to him, she has horrible taste in men and obviously has daddy issues. Why were all the housewives getting their hair and make up done on vacay?? Are they that high maintenance? And what is with the Countess and foreign men who look like actors. Johnny Depp and David Scwhmeir. And why was that guy wearing eyeliner?? So many questions. Caroles body was sick, sad that she is 10 plus years older than me but looks better in a bikini. Kim and Kayne are a match made in ego heaven.

  11. mrs. V { Chez V } says: September 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Noooooooo! What happened to the hot Dirty Dan the World's Dirtiest Man McConaughey?! Like dirty in a good way. He and Rimes have been drinking from the same koolaid. Now he just looks like a claymation character. sads to that.

  12. Sundresses and Smiles says: September 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Matthew McConaughey is my celebrity crush…but UGH!!! He can't look like that! And ugh, Taylor–I've had enough of her!

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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