The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: monday moving + things ::

for some reason I decided to pack until 11 PM last night,
so I’ll have a Monday post for you later today.  
one of my best friends came over to help and it made the experience much more fun and far less stressful. 

my other best friend pinot grigio took the anxiety out of it and I seriously packed my ass off for hours upon hours yesterday. 

our place is DE-STROYED.  
but I caught up on 4 hours of Nashville, and sure enough, YEP the show still sucks.
thank goodness the finale is next Wednesday because I used to love that show but DAMN it has gotten bad and I am SO ready to break up with it and never see it again. 

on a deeper note : why is bubble wrap so damn expensive? 

and on a confusing note : it’s my first day not working, yet I got up at 6 AM to go to a spin class.
I don’t even know whats’ going on in my mind anymore. 

come back later today to hear about my fun weekend,
which included dancing until 2 am on Saturday night like a lunatic. 




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Lifestyle

:: tuesday things ::

image


our front door looks so empty without a wreath on it.

it needs a christmas/st. paddy’s day replacement asap. 
I am in love with the following wreaths that I found on Etsy, and I think one of them will be arriving shortly. 

there are seriously hundreds of gorgeous wreaths on their etsy shop! 

another under $100 recent find is
Three Jane NY Jewelry. 
the earrings below come in every color under the rainbow and would make any black cocktail dress a stunner. 

moving on from home decor and jewelry…… FOOD.
I feel like I need to just get a spiralizer. 
this paderno spiralizer has been sitting in my amazon cart for ages. 

are they really that easy to use? 
will I end up spending a fortune on produce in order to make a “pasta dinner”?
do they take up A TON of space in the kitchen?
help a lady out. 

don’t forget, RHOBH Reunion Part 1 Tonight! 
so tell your man friend to shush and go play video games
park it on the couch and treat-yo-self. 
I’ll be wishing it was Friday so that I could play my favorite reunion drinking game: 
every time my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen makes crazy pants facial expressions, DRANK. 


also, every time Brandi acts like the trash that she is, DRANK. 
and always the most fun, every time you are sitting alone talking at the television screen as if they or anyone else could hear you, DRANK. 



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Lifestyle

instagram : the most important part of your day

I’m too angry to even discuss the bachelorette announcement so lets get to todays post….. 
DAMN YOU ABC.  prepare for some angry words on Coffee Talk this Thursday! 

if you’re someone that reads blogs daily,
don’t even try to lie and act like instagram isn’t one of the best parts of your day.
it’s the best thing since sliced bread to ever happen to boredom and a well earned “break” that you totally didn’t earn but you have ADD and want to hit refresh and see if anyone posted something within the last 4 minutes since you last checked. 

here are some of my favorite funny/entertaining accounts to follow : 
ps. proof that I write these posts at the very last minute, taking a million screen shots at 10 PM last night on my phone

the new (to me) and just as hilarious as @thefatjewish and @fuckjerry 

she and @betches are probably my two favorite accounts on all of instagram 



just found out about this one and just think its funny….. cuz its true. 


love, love, love them.  their instagram is even better than their website 


we all know @thefatjewish and hopefully you all follow @fuckjerry because I think he is 10x better and funnier 

men forced to go shopping with women.  enough said. 

there are so many others so we’ll just leave it at that for now 🙂 
what are your favorite accounts to follow?
the more the merrier….. anything to kill boredom on the treadmill during a commercial break 🙂 



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Lifestyle

:: things to make you smile ::

random things for tuesday : 


bravo released the trailer for Real Housewives of New York
and DAMN GIRL it looks nuts. (if it isn’t showing up see video here)



I can’t waaaaaait. 


oprah seemingly running away from gaga (gif)





this video series cracks me up and it is SO TRUE (find more videos here)



this is so cute 

the women tell all last night was highly disappointing. 
it was as exciting as farmer chris and his hometown. 



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Lifestyle

grab your remote + your biggest bowl of popcorn

……. because there’s an epic night of Sunday night TV ahead!! 

screw the oscars; this is the event of the YEAR. 

SNL’s 40th anniversary special 
(AND the kick off for a two night Bachelor Event.)

if you follow SNL on instagram, they have been posting video clips with the guest stars all week.
it has made me SO GIDDY.
it is a live 3.5 hour event and I for one am currently counting the MINUTES.

everryyyyone will be there, and everyone who is a normal human will be watching. 

simultaneously airing on ABC will be a bachelor episode, which will for the most part be absolutely horrible while chris harrison interviews chris-farming, YAWN.  but they will also be interviewing crazy pants widow mcgee.  and then a full episode of the bachelor, part one.  thank the lord for DVR so I can fast forward through commercials and go back and forth as necessary without missing a thing.

I’m already preparing the sofa, dinner, snacks, blankets for a night of pure excitement.
my husband is preparing to look at me like I am mentally insane. 
6 1/2 hours of TV that I can’t start watching until 7 PM….. give me a pint of ice cream and lets do this! 



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