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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

September 30, 2016

:: coffee talk ::
discuss amongst ya-selves…… 

:: RHOC ::


We saw the nicest side of Jim Edmonds yet… mostly because he just SHOWED UP to one of her doctors appointments.  You know, he doesn’t need to be there for the IVF appointment that creates the birth of his child or any previously, but I guess he can make it to this one. Finally Meghan catches Jim on a good day and her husband consoles her when they find out it’s only one baby that she is carrying not two.
Only took you two and half seasons to say something nice, Jim – well done.  
But then they start going on about this candle store and I’m back to them annoying the heck out of me. 


We’ve had lots of clues leading up to Kelly Dodd and her husband – but almost ex husband’s – marital woes, and tonight we begin the dive head first.  

This conversation between kelly dodd and her mom in the driveway is almost as ridiculous as the #CoolMom hat kelly is wearing…. which is either a gift from #GoalDigger Tamra or they both have horrifying taste and senses of humor. 

Remember when Meghan King Edmonds was the queen of headwear?
Apparently she started the hashtag headwear trend too….. as evidenced below.

and WOW.
 googling the OC Housewives with Hashtag Trucker hats has brought up even more….. 


Vicki and the Kill All Cancer campaign she has come up with is just awful. Does this not seem inappropriate to her at all?  Watching her try to explain the previous incident with Brooks and why she may not be the best spokesperson, and then watching that man just stare and blink is nuts.  How could they REALLY know nothing about this? And if not, how could they seriously say with a straight face she has great commercial appeal for a cancer charity!!!??? WHAT?! 
Vicki thinks “how can anyone hate her when she is raising money for cancer charities?”
So now everyone will of course love her! 
Um, that doesnt make people forget what you did or make them want to bring you a casserole. 
Also, and perhaps most importantly,  it’s all tied up with her selling insurance, so, in the end it’s all about her and her insurance company and making money.
This woman is sick in the head.
And watching her son Michael next to her and his facial expressions is painful – he knows this is just as crazy as the rest of us.  But I feel for him, because unlike Bryanna, I think Michael sees his mom the way many do as straight up delusional and he’s a little afraid of her. 

I’m so ready for Shannon to move out of her house because her lack of organization and packing abilities are giving me insane anxiety.  I understand that you don’t want strangers packing your things or touching your things because you have OCD.  However, if that is the case you need to use that crazy ass type A personality to PACK THINGS SHANNON! 
You keep remind us your house is over 13,000 square feet and I see your twins walking around taking things into cabinets and I swear I AM going to lose it.  
Where’s DAVID DAVID DAVID (in shannons voice) to hire packers and get this under control?! 
We knew she had special hospital grade air and things built into her home, but now she’s naming TONS of these things that her house has like no Wifi and I’m wondering what else there is that she hasn’t named.  How is this woman ever going to move into another house when we know she’s buried crystals throughout this one and has had it feng-shued to within an inch of its life.  

OH.  Well.  Then we see Shannon’s rental house. Oh em gee. I’m sorry, but props to Shannon.  She must be wiling to just really go with the flow and keep the family happy …. or she is so desperate to leave the house with the Affair memories she just doesn’t care.  No, that house is not awful, the view is amazing, and it looks huge.  But sorry – if you compare it to what she is moving from – Ummmmm.  
Also, THAT KITCHEN? WHAT? 



THEN we learn that David’s family was hoping he would pick the Affair over Shannon and that his mom and sister were friends and hung out with Affair-Lady
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME?  
…. I mean.   No words.  WOW.  


Back to Kelly and her marital woes with the ladies…. which Heather and Vicki overheard from two massage rooms over.  Oh Kelly and her big mouth.  Literally. 
Tamra says the only thing worst than staying with a narcissist is divorcing one.

What? How does this help? 

Kelly, taking marriage advice from Vicki and Tamra is prooooooobably not the best place to be seeking out some wisdom.  But I don’t think either of them ever called their ex husbands Hitler, so I guess anything is a step up in terms of who to turn to. 
I guess that’s the silver living for all of the viewers to take to heart: Even if you are having trouble with your spouse, cheers to you, you probably don’t think they resemble Hitler. 


PREVIEWS FOR FUTURE EPISODES !!??!! 



WHAT!? It’s going to get nuts. 


Please don’t bring Kelly back next season.  PLEASE I beg you my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen.  They are all toxic, but she takes the cake. 

:: Below Deck ::
This season is just AMAZING.
Every single episode with Trevor gets better and better.  



And every time he mentions being a hair model whilst his eyes cross in 87 different directions, my heart does a little pitter patter. 

:: RHofMelbourne ::
I am so sad this season is over.  
But at least I don’t have to listen to Lydia and Pettifleur anymore.
I really wish both of them wouldn’t return next season, but I’m sure they will.
And Gamble for the win this season – not a moment of real drama with her, nothing but love and kindness.  Who would have thought!? 


:: RYAN’S WEDDING :: 
I haven’t seen this week’s episode of Million Dollar NY: Ryan’s Wedding, but based on the first one, I am confused.
They were always happy and she was always calm and rational whenever they had showed them before.  SO either this is what is really is, or Bravo is making them turn it up 5 notches to have tons of drama for the show.  Either way, even though I bet it’s fake drama, I am not digging it.  At all.  

She really does have such a bod and killer hair though, and he’s super cute, so for those shallow reasons (combined with lack of self control to choose not to watch anything on Bravo) you know I’ll continue to tune in 😀 

:: JAMES CORDEN :: 
I just love anything that James Corden does, so this cute short video of racing the fastest man in the world with the whole office was great.  More for the commentary beforehand than the actual race.
see video here



Also, did you see Kate Hudson singing with Jimmy Fallon??


I love her – I just think she’s the cutest thing ever. 
:: ramona’s new face ::
WHAT DID SHE DO?!?!? 



why are these people always, ALWAYS messing with their faces??? 
I guess this was her “my divorce is finalized” celebration….. 


::::::: FRIDAY THINGS  :::::::: 


So sorry for my sporadic posting this week!! 
Things with my car breaking down and family friends in town and deliveries at the new house got the best of me! 


I’ll have some house updates for you next week – I think by the end of the weekend it’s going to look great (well…. as good as it’s going to look at the beginning while we figure out projects and new furniture and such!)


In an attempt to break out of my routine, and since it has finally been a bit cooler this week,
I pulled out some fall booties and topped my outfit with the black felt hat from my POPSUGAR Must Have Box that they sent me to try ! 

HAT from POPSUGAR Must Have Box  //  CRISS-CROSS TOP //  BOOTIES (sold out, SIMILAR and MY OTHER FAVORITES)

We have a low-key weekend at home planned, getting everything organized and unpacking boxes! 
I’ll be back full time next week!  Hope you have a great weekend! 

image
EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.

gifs via giphy, images ABC and Bravo 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle

:: Must Haves ::

September 23, 2016

:: Must Haves ::
Happy Friday Loves! 
image
what can I say…. weekends make me crave Mexican…. 

Kipper got back in town last night and we are off this morning to get his wisdom teeth removed.  He has known for awhile he needs to get this done but it kept getting put off and of course now he’s pain and can’t wait anymore.  I have the fridge stocked and the sofa ready…. and my iPhone prepared to capture him leaving the office in hopes he says ridiculous things 🙂  Hopefully he’ll feel okay this weekend – I made sure Bloodline was all ready to stream for him on Netflix. 
If you’ve been reading for a little while, you may have noticed that I love Popsugar.
It’s a great site to find articles and information regarding some of my favorite topics like fashion, food, fitness, and celebrity gossip.
My favorite aspect of their site is the fitness part + the POPSUGAR Fitness YouTube Channel.  You’ve seen me link to several of their at home workouts in posts before; they post new workouts constantly and so many of them are my favorite.  This 10 minute barre abs is one I do weekly, and one of my newer favorites is this 30 minute cardio workout.
Check out my Pinterest board for many more of my favorite workouts of theirs!

I was so excited when I had the opportunity to try out their monthly subscription box service, POPSUGAR Must Have.   I love subscription boxes and it’s so fun to get a surprise delivered to your doorstep every couple of weeks!  Each month, they cultivate a new box that fits with the current season and includes new and familiar brands with items pertaining to fashion, fitness, beauty, home, and more! 

The September box had so many great items I couldn’t wait to dig through it.
How cute is the “Happiness Delivered” on the box? 

The first thing I saw was the Jack + Lucy wide brim hat: the perfect fall accessory.  This is one of those things I always love seeing on others but would probably never buy for myself, so this was such a nice surprise to have my hands on one! 
image
 I wanted to do a shameless selfie but with the move, I literally look like I haven’t bathed in days (I have though…. swear…. just lots of dry shampoo…. perfect timing for a fall hat to arrive on my doorstep!) 

Another style or look that I admire on others but haven’t tried much myself is a red lip.  I tend to be the queen of Aquaphor with a little gloss or a neutral lipstick.  Whenever my friends have put their bold lip colors on me during a night out though I have loved it.  The box included a Smith and Cult Lip Lacquer in a gorgeous shade of red that I am excited to try out! 

The Gluten Free Bites  were a perfect healthy way to get a slightly sweet snack.  I don’t go nuts for a coconut flavor, but if that’s your jam you should definitely give these a try.  Plus you can eat more of something when you know all of the ingredients are healthy and good for you 🙂  That’s how I feel at least.  I have several friends that are gluten free, one with Celiac so it’s super serious that she doesn’t touch any gluten, and these would be perfect for her.  

Next in the box is the Briogeo Deep Conditioning Hair Mask.  I am self-admittedly not the greatest with beauty products and taking care of my hair/skin/nails/etc.  
Like, I’m a liiiiiiitle excited about colder weather so I don’t have to shave so often…. tell me I’m not alone in this? 
But over the last couple months I’ve really stepped up my skincare routine so it’s about time I do the same in the hair department! 
I’ll report back with how the mask works – this one specializes in damaged hair, which is perfect for me since I highlight and get split ends frequently.  

Speaking of not being a beauty junkie, I can’t take care of my nails to save my life.
Without the help of a trained professional, please do not look at my hands 🙂
This MANI-ER travel size nail kit is perfect for my sister (or most people who have their act together unlike me) who loves to have her nails done and they always look great.  This will be so easy to slip into her purse for any mani-emergencies! 

I think my favorite thing in the whole box is the Flint travel lint roller.

This thing is genius.  It’s one of those products that make you wonder why no one thought of it before?




















                                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                             
It’s refillable and it’s a small size and fits so easily into your purse.  Most importantly, it has a cover for the the sticky part so you never get that lint filled roller that just sits around all nasty causing you to waste sheets.  You just roll it up to use, then back down when done, and it’s all clean for its next use.


I am going to give this one to Kip for his business trips so I know he probably needs one more than me, but they are under $10 and refills are so inexpensive, so I am definitely ordering myself one.  I already know this will be the PERFECT stocking stuffer for Christmas.  Seriously – any adult would not only need something like this, they would love it too. 

Subscription box services are a great way to try out full size samples of things you would otherwise never try, or WOULD try but you pay a fraction of the price.  This box retails for almost $150 and it is only $39 per month! 

What I love about the Must Have box versus other subscription services is it encompasses so many different categories of brands.  I don’t want just food or fitness or beauty or something like that, but with this you get a little bit of everything! 
with code SHOP5 you get $5 off your first box! 

Cheers to the weekend! 






* POP SUGAR Must Have was so kind to provide me the subscription box.   
As always, all thoughts and opinions (and you know I always have ’em!) are my own * 

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by TheSarcasticBlonde 

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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