The Sarcastic Blonde

{healthy} crack of the week

January 21, 2014

I’ve been trying out different types of salads and quinoa bowls for dinner the past week, and I have a new obsession.

A “garbage salad” of a ton of yummy veggies, topped with a little bit of quinoa, and this simple, easy dressing. It has so much flavor and takes less than two minutes to make.

The recipe is from the Tone It Up Nutrition Plan (I bit the bullet and purchased it…. so far, completely worth it. It’s hundreds of pages of tips, recipes, meal plans, workouts, etc.)

Dijon Dressing

image via

2 Tbs red or white onion

1 Tbs agave

1 Tbs dijon mustard

1/2 lemon, juiced

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp mustard powder

*drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, I added this, the recipe didn’t call for it

combine into a mason jar and shake, shake, shake.

I pour this over the quinoa with:

avocado, cucumber, red onion, broccoli, black beans, chickpeas, and tomatoes.

Top it all off with some feta.

image via

or my pretty photo…..

I know you all read this blog for the stunning food photography

boom. talent.

While dicing and chopping, I put half the veggies and some of the quinoa in tupperware, and have lunch for the next day at work all prepared.

do you have a favorite salad or quinoa combo I should try?!

fashion, Lifestyle, wedding

I’ve been on the hunt for white dresses for our upcoming engagement party….. and also shower, bridal luncheon, and rehearsal. I have ordered 9 dresses over the let 2 weeks and have sent ALL of them back. Hopefully I stumble across something for our engagement party next month soon!

robert rodriguez // laundry with lace detail // susana monaco // theory leather dress

textured french connection // anthropologie // beaded cynthia steffe // DVF lace // elizabeth and james

I’m kind of in love with the second dress, the white with the black lace detail.
I also want those navy and white striped pumps big time!!

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

January 16, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves……

THE BACHELOR

lucy, the hippie

so my friend informed me that lucy went to SMU.

Lucy…. the Hippie….the naked hippie….. at SMU?

Those of you not from the south may not comprehend this,
but this makes NO sense to me.
At least she’s still around to keep the coming weeks entertaining.

The dates they pick on this show are so obnoxious.
Why must there be a stupid photo shoot or music video even season?

“but it’s for a good cause, so we totally should get naked or else we’re bad people”.
so stupid.

The producers picked the only two with jobs – teacher and district attorney, and make them be nude to ruin their careers. Hey, I know what’s fun! Let’s have your 1st graders see you naked on tv!!! And Lawyer girl! Let’s have no one take you seriously in court!!

seriously abc?

Victoria:

I mean… I can’t.

It’s just too good to be true.

“if juan pablo is mine I’m going to straddle him every day.

because thats what life is about!

straddling!”

“Kelly said she wanted to put a barl collar on me because I’m too loud.
I’m not a dog, I’m just a bitch.”

then she said THE HYMEN MANUEVER

THIS SEASON IS SO DAMN GOOD ALREADY.
those three quotes alone made 2 hours of BS tv worth it.

“i may have had a little too much to drink.”

sweetheart, “i may have drank too much” is my middle name, and “may” and “little” need to be removed from your sentence. holy crap. you are nuts.

oh my god is that what I sound like every sunday morning?
“mayyyybeee I had one too many pinot grigios.”

The first impression rose girl who never smiles:

Plus, she sings opera – and the people that sing just drive me insane.
She is so miserable to be there. When they all were in the limo driving to the house and then got out and cheered and ran like little schoolgirls you could see her in the corner of the screen hating herself for being there.

I can’t figure out if she is just so boring and awful, or if I have wrongly accused her because she suffers from bitchy resting face?!

Maybe she’s just too normal and mature (read: old -aka- the RIGHT age for a man his age with a 6 year old child).

That’s all I really have for today.
My apologies. I must have had slightly more of a life this week or something?
Some bullet points on other shows:

I’ve only seen the first 10 minutes of RHOBH, but that waxing scene with the thingys the waxer whipped out…. what the hell?!? Since when does that happen? I would scream and run bloody murder if an aesthetician handed one of those over. What kind of “salon” is this???
Also… WHY must this season of RHOBH be so sexual? it’s making me uncomfortable.

I can handle a lot of gross/dumb/inappropriate stuff,
but watching Carlton lick a stripper pole is getting to be enough.

Vanderpump Rules:

Stassi is just the most selfish person alive, and it is very entertaining. I have never seen someone make such a deal about their birthday. The best part is how she throws a (dramatic) fit about people causing drama on her birthday – and there should be no drama!!! Then she follows this up with telling her best friend that her boyfriend of 5 years definitely DID cheat on her and is lying to her. {said boyfriend is on the vacation with them all}. But Happy Vacation!!

What do you think is going to happen after that one, Stassi??
Better question, why am I so excited to see what happens in the next 3 episodes and if Tom and Kristin will break up!?

I’ll catch up on everything else!!

health, Lifestyle, wedding

wedding wednesday

January 15, 2014

we have a little less than 5 months until the wedding,

so the time has unfortunately come to get serious about the diet and fitness aspect.

I, like probably most brides, would like to look pretty good on the wedding day.

You know… a little something like this.

ha. yeah….. not so much.

but you get the idea.

maybe a little more like this

I don’t really want to lose weight, just lose some jiggle and get some muscle.

and then, the moment I wake up on June 8th to depart for our honeymoon, I will spend the rest of my life eating and drinking to my hearts content.

Because I’ll be married. And he’ll be stuck with me.

And really skinny people are angry as hell. And anger leads to divorce.

So, therefor, the key to a happy marriage is eating 🙂

Here is my initial kickstart plan.

I’ve stuck to it pretty much for the last week and I am already starting to feel my sweet tooth/carb tooth subsiding.

Cardio:

15 miles per week.

I have always just done the treadmill at my apartment or the elliptical at the gym. Usually the treadmill while I watch my shows from the night before. This is an easily do-able 2 miles per day, or 3 miles a day to have some days off.

Strength Training:

4-5x per week.

I alternate right now between Tracy Anderson Perfect Design DVD’s, and her DVD’s that are on YouTube. If I’m tired, I’ll do just part of it, about 15 minutes. Sometimes I do part in the morning and part at night. You know I’m obsessed with her 8 minute arm video – I swear if you do this 5x in one week, you will see a difference at the end of the week in your arms.

Diet:

Ugghhh the worst. This is where I do not have self control. I have grown to love working out over the last 2-3 years because I associate it with my TV time. TV time is my happy time {because I am sad and pathetic with a completely unhealthy love of crappy television} so now I correlate that with working out. But I don’t like restricting what I eat at. all.

But for now, I’m trying to cutting things out and only having them rarely.

A few things I’m starting with this month.

No carbs after lunchtime.

No dessert during the week.

I’m more of a carb person anyway, but if I have a craving, I have little chocolate wedges from Trader Joe’s so I can have one and it usually gets rid of the hankering. That or some pineapple.

No fried foods during the week.

No snacking on all of the amazing doughnuts, cakes, asian noodles and crab rangoon, and 9 million other things that our office constantly has on hand. Yesterday we had 3 boxes of doughnuts from a patient – and not Dunkin Donuts, the good stuff…. from a nice bakery. I didn’t have any…. and it sucked. But life sucks and I won’t die from skipping a donut.

A Healthy Dinner

It needs a protein, veggies, and quinoa for a healthier bread/pasta alternative.

It’s been simple enough so far. When I can’t think of dinner, I’ve done an eggwhite omlette with veggies, fat free feta, salsa, and greek yogurt (as sour cream) with a side of banana and almond butter. Or whole wheat toast with almond butter (when I just want a freaking piece of bread!)

I’m sure I’ll be sick of it soon, but for now I’m liking it.

Cheat:

On the weekends, on a date night or girls night, I’m going to eat what I want. Just not every single last bite and every last french fry every singe time. I’m planning on one or two cheat meals per week for now. We’ll see if I am able to do this…. that number may be increasing.

Every diet person says cheating is important, and who am I to argue with the pros?!?

Diet part II: The Booze.

I need to restrict my drinking by much, much more.

Half of this isn’t the drinking, it’s what I eat the next day because of the drinking.

me, every sunday.

I don’t drink many nights, usually 2 a week, but I need to cut back with the amount. I’m a lush. Sorry I’m not sorry. I’m Irish I just can’t help it.

Enough rambling.

I feel like putting it out there helps make me accountable.

Feel free to comment and say you don’t want to hear about any of this if that’s how you feel though 🙂

What are your favorite things to do to workout or eat healthy?

I’ll be posting some healthier recipes in the coming weeks as I try out new things.

fashion, Lifestyle

splurge vs. steal & lust list

January 14, 2014

While perusing the shopping sites last night
I stumbled across dresses that were very similar to some from the golden globes.

never thought i’d be featuring amy poehler in something fashion related, that’s for sure

such a perfect black dress for a million occasions.

change the accessories and you have a ton of different looks.

{black dress}

I loved the color of Maria Menounos’ dress.
It’s a color I’m a bit obsessed with lately.

{orange dress}

and some other lusts for the week…….

one // two // three // four // five // six // seven

I’ve been searching for white dresses for upcoming wedding occasions, and if it were even remotely hot and summertime weather, I’d love to be wearing that white dress to the very first party! So comfy and so pretty.