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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

fashion, Lifestyle

:: suede envy : under $100 ::

October 12, 2016

:: suede envy : under $100 ::
lusts for the week…… 

I have been all about suede for fall.
I love suede for boots and booties, but I have especially been loving it for skirts and dresses.  I have a few heading my way now and can’t wait to get my hands on them! 
See some of my favorite finds below, all under $100 ! 

 FAUX SUEDE MIDI DRESS // CUT OUT TWO TONE // MOCK NECK SHIFT DRESS // BURGUNDY WRAP FRONT DRESS 

OLIVE SHIFT DRESS  //  MOCK NECK SHIFT DRESS  // MUSTARD HIGH NECK SKATER DRESS  //  BROWN SHIFT DRESS



//  HIGH WAIST SUEDE LEGGING  //  FAUX SUEDE MOTO LEGGING  // 

FRINGE SKIRT // BLACK MINI-SKIRT // PLEATED SKIRT // TAN MINI SKIRT MORE SIZES HERE

SIDE ZIPPER MINI // KHAKI WITH SIDE SLIT // DARK BLUE MINI // FAUX WRAP SKIRT 
Happy Suede Shopping!!! 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion, Lifestyle

:: J.CREW SALE ::

October 11, 2016

:: J.CREW SALE ::
J.Crew is having 30% off everything with code YESPLEASE through tonight!
my favorite PEPLUM TOP and EMBROIDERED POM TOP that I wear constantly are included! 

Shop some of my favorites below!

//  SHORT SLEEVE POPOVER  // 

//  BELTED VEST  // 

corduroy skirt is on my must have for fall list ! 
//  CORDUROY SKIRT  // 

//  RUFFLE SLEEVE T-SHIRT STRIPES  // 

this vest with the detailing also comes in a beautiful hunter green color ! 
//  PUFFER VEST  // 

I have lusted after this coat in this bright color for two winters now!
  It looks so amazing in person! 
// SPICED ORANGE STADIUM CLOTH COAT  // 

//  TIE WAIST LEOPARD SKIRT  // 

//  PEPLUM TOP  // 

//  TOGGLE CAPE  // 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
home, home inspiration, house, Lifestyle

:: home updates : master closet ::

October 11, 2016

:: home updates : master closet ::

When we moved in to our new house,
I was super excited about having a walk in master closet.

Something I was not super excited about was painting it.
We did so much painting at our old place before putting it on the market that I never wanted to see a paint brush again.
My handy husband however insisted that we paint it a bright white instead of the ugly beigey-yellow color it was currently.
I dont admit this often, but he was definitely right.
It was also, as I’ve learned through every painting project thus far, a lot more work than I had expected.
BUT, very worth it.
 once the white was against the existing color you could really tell how ugly it was 

When we were about half way through he had suggested we paint the ceiling a color so that it all wasn’t just pure white.
Everything on Pinterest that I came across had a pretty grey or greyish-blue-green which I loved, but that is a common color throughout the rest of our house, so we thought we should go with something different.

Obviously navy was the first color that then came into my mind!
The first color that we picked out was turning purple (he didn’t see it…. all I saw was Barney Purple) so since we were having to do two coats anyway, I suggested getting a different color.
image from involving color

These were the three colors that seemed to be the most popular navy’s. 
 At my families old house we had the kitchen and living area Van Deusen Blue, so since I have seen that navy so many times before and knew that color well, I just went with that.

The navy looks so great.  All we need now is a new light fixture.
Badly. 
Which we definitely need not just for looks but for some more light.
The boob light in addition to whatever bulb is currently in there doesn’t make the closet bright enough.

We have lots more home projects to come but I’m glad that this one – and anything involving painting that we did – seems to over for now!

it’s hard to get a good idea for the navy color in these photos because the closet lighting is so bad, but I love the way the navy turned out the second time around! 




I’m still working on getting everything into the closet for now! 

if anyone has any light fixture ideas, 
please send them my way! 
I’ve found some good pins on Pinterest for some inexpensive lighting options but can’t decide. 
We need a new light fixture for the den too and possibly one in the kitchen! 

source

and some more affordable flush mounts from Elements of Style here


by TheSarcasticBlonde 
Lifestyle, weekend recap

:: weekend things ::

October 10, 2016

:: weekend things ::
Kip and I ended up taking a last minute trip to Chicago to celebrate his birthday this past weekend!
His company gives him a mandatory day off, so since he had Friday off, he flew from a work trip straight to Chicago and I met him there!

Our friends were supposed to be in Savannah for a family wedding, and they were kind enough to let us stay at their place while they were gone.  Of course, with Hurricane Matthew, they never made it out and the wedding was cancelled.  {I hope everyone and their families and homes are okay!} The poor bridal party and family that were already there were evacuating and we immediately offered our house in Atlanta up to whoever needed it.  Luckily, a friend of the brides family arranged for a breakfast wedding for them Sunday at a club and a make-shift rehearsal dinner at a friends house Saturday night.  I felt horrible for them! Can you even imagine?  So while we were in Chicago, my friend and her family flew down and stayed at our house for the new wedding weekend in Atlanta.   It was a life a mini “The Holiday”.  I also was so excited she would get to see our new house and I still got a night and day in Chicago with her!

Chicago was a perfectly fall weekend.  It was great to see friends and family even for just a quick minute.  Kip hadn’t been back since moving so I know he was so happy to have the surprise getaway.
I’ve worn the tank above an embarrassing amount.
It’s just so easy to throw on with a leather jacket  – the cut is so flattering. 
 //   LUSH SIDE SLIT TANK   // 

I loved being back in Wrigleyville for the second game; 
even if we didn’t have tickets to the actual game its so fun to watch at a bar in the neighborhood. 
 For Saturday, I wore one of my favorite cozy sweaters – its a split hem layered so it gives the layered look without the bulk and the sweater is so soft it feels like cashmere. 
//  LAYERED SHIRTTAIL SWEATER  // 
 currently on super sale 40% off ! 

Our go-to neighborhood bar in Chicago was Justin’s (RIP).  
We couldn’t have loved it more, especially the beer garden in the summer.  It was like a Chicago instituion to us – even my parents and their friends had hung out there when they were younger.
It closed (so we moved…. just kidding…. kind of :D) 
BUT they put a new Mexican restaurant in called Tuco and Blondie. 

 We went and tried it out and I really loved it.  They did a great job making it open-air and the food was great (loved the nachos where each chip is a fully loaded nacho and also the enchiladas! and the margaritas of course!)

The pitcher for the Cubs, Ross, was there too the night before Game 1 of the playoffs with his family so that was fun and cute.  

Sunday we flew home and got to spend a bit more time with my friend and her family at our house before they flew out from the delayed wedding weekend.
Kipper was very excited to show off his favorite thing about moving to Atlanta.
he is so obsessed with this truck it’s nuts.
his first words after getting his wisdom teeth out last week were 
“where’s my truck? who is watching the truck?” 

As incredible as these last minute weekends away are
(Kip got companion pass status so he’s able to take me along for free!) 
we are both in dire need to some nights at the new house settling in and spending some relaxing time together. 
We also are dying for our Monday-Thursday dinner and workout plans to continue through a weekend for once 🙂  because you all know on those weekends away nothing is off limits.

We have three weeks until we have to head North for a family weekend celebrating his grandparents, and they all say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so I’m using these 21 days to LEGIT lock it back up. I feel so much better after a full week of rest, gym time, and real food – so I am going to do my best to solidify by week-time habits to weekend ones while we are home these few weeks! 

In addition to the Tracy Anderson toning videos, I’m back to incorporating some workout classes.
I’ve been spinning (well…. dying in the back row cursing the instructor under my breath and not opting for my slow-ass-stats to be seen on that big leader board thing) so my goal is spinning 2-3 times per week to change up my cardio these next 21 days.  
you know I love this gif so much. 

I also love when Tone It Up does their Challenges, so I’m following along with the 31 daily moves each day! 
you can find out more about the 31 Day Challenge and more of their workouts here
I love that their workouts are all very living room friendly and many of their videos are around 15 minutes only. 

Some TV reminders for the week : 
Tonight : The OC ladies arrive in Ireland and oh-em-gee it’s going to be a showdown. 
Tuesday : 
Ben and Lauren : Happily ever After premieres on Freeform, the new ABC Family. 
very interested to see if this is just terrible… something tells me it will be…. 
Also Tuesday, If you still aren’t watching This Is Us, don’t make me come over there and knock some sense it to you.
I have yet to hear a single person not flipping out and love, love, loving this show.
It is so great. 

Wednesday : 
Justin Timerlake Concert film goes to Netflix
I for one will eat this up! 
The second episode of Catching Kelce that I discussed in Coffee Talk is also Wednesday 🙂 

sorry for such a late post today, nothing was uploading on my computer!



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

October 6, 2016

:: COFFEE TALK ::
discuss amongst ya-selves…….. 

:: CATCHING KELCE :: 
There is a new “Bachelor”-esque reality show that premiered last night on E!
A famous football player for the Kansas City Chief’s will date 50 women from 50 states and narrow it down to one.


Over the summer he was on my-boyfriend-andy-cohen’s show WWHL discussing the show, and I meant to discuss it then but completely forgot until I saw commercials airing for it.  It seemed from his interview like it was going to get down and dirty on this show.  None of the PC stuff that goes on over at ABC.  
I’m watching it right now as I type this and this is going to be interesting.
There is no shame in this guys game – and same goes for these ladies.
Night One they are at Roosevelt Hotel partying with shots with a bunch of professional athletes. 
I have a feeling it’s going to be a cover hands over eyes and jaw on the floor show and in the best way possible.  



{I was wondering how this was going to get narrowed down, but he cuts 30 girls right off the bat after a 60 second intro} 
Set your DVR ladies. 
Warning : He’s seems like a total bro.  Hot, but a total bro.   But so far he’s super funny too.  I like him.  Probably a man whore, but I think he’s sarcastic as heck and you know I love that. 
UPDATE AS I’VE SEEN ALL OF EPISODE ONE: 
Y’all.  This show is SO GOOD.  It is just ALL laid out there.  
Finding Prince Charming and Catching Kelce are giving The Bachelor a serious run for it’s money.  

:: BACHELOR :: 
spoiler (NOT REALLY) alert : we know one of the first group dates for Nick’s season of the Bachelor is a trip to a Backstreet Boys concert.

I wonder what other ways the producers will humiliate the ladies other than dancing as back up dancers on stage (no doubt the one that admits they “can’t dance” will be selected for this date, right after they show the one-on-one date of the girl who is afraid of heights bungee jumping off of a bridge :D) 

:: REAL HOUSEWIVES NEW JERSEY :: 
Jacqueline is really taking the crazy-cake this season. 

I have a hard time believing that all of this is her…. I feel part of her being this argumentative and looney is to get air time and keep herself as part of the cast when Theresa isn’t wanting a friendship with her. 


I really love the new girls Dolores and Siggy; especially Siggy.  

Theresa sits at dinner saying “I’m fragile, I’m fragile too” and they just shut her down. “No. No you aren’t. No.” 
I hope they aren’t too nice and non-confrontational and get the ax…. this cast out of all of them needs some people to diffuse the situations or else we’ll have another table flipping situation on our hands. 

:: REAL HOUSEWIVES OF OC :: 
do we think Vicki has something on Shannon?
or is she making this up?
And if she does have something, what could it possibly be? 



All of me would think that Vicki is full of BS, HOWEEVVERRRR it was very strange that Shannon then was all nice and chummy at Heather’s Book Party.  Their last interaction prior to this was quite tense, at the Candle Store Party, and she hadn’t been friendly at all with Vicki even before they had this recent argument.  
SO why be so nice after it? 



and of course Vicki runs her mouth about it to Kelly Freaking Dodd. 
ughhhhhh. 
and Kelly promptly tells both Heather and Tamra that Vicki has dirt on her.
It never ceases to amaze me that Kelly’s mouth really IS as big as her actual mouth. 
Kelly Dodd is running her mouth at the “Plastic Surgery Whatever The Book That No One Will Read Party is Called”.
editors note : I am not opposed to reading anything.  Much like my TV taste, my standards for books can be quite low – I like a good celebrity book as much as the next Bravo-whore.  However, why would I read a book about being a guinea pig for cosmetic treatments? It just seems pointless? And aren’t there probably zillions of things on the internet that already exist with opinions about what does and doesn’t work?
but I digress….. 


So Kelly Dodd keeps running her mouth about her marriage and Michael at the Dubrow’s Book Party.  Week after week this just keeps snowballing and I am scared for what’s to come.

Also, for DrinksMcGee Kelly to be calling Michael a Drunk I feel like that is really saying something.   Michael is for sure drunk at this party, and the way he’s talking to the women at the party is so painful.  But the way Kelly is squawking after him is awful too. 


Somehow the whole evening ends in them around a dry ice ice-cream bowl saying they’re going to Ireland next week because Meghan King Edmonds and her absent-husband found out they have Irish blood.  Because that makes sense??? 


:: BELOW DECK :: 
I am just LOVING IT SO MUCH.  
But already #IMissTrevor the way that I felt with #IMissChad for Bachelorette + Bachelor in Paradise. 
it’s hard watching the trainwrecks go….. brings a little tear to my eye.  
and in case you missed the smoking hot charter guests this week,
allow me to share this eye candy with you : 




BUT…. wait for it…. his friend didn’t want to be left out : 

I meannnnnn. 
It was hilarious and horrifying.  
….. and then there’s a big love triangle between everyone which is just great.
Lauren loves Nico who loves Emily who is also loved by Kelley (who is a boy) but Nico tries to kiss Sierra and for once everyone is getting along with Kate.  
And then Trevor’s replacement comes from England and no one can understand a word he is speaking, including Ben who is British.  

:: TORI SPELLING :: 
I meannnnnnnnnnn.
Tori is expecting her fifth child.
With her philandering husband.  
and her last pregnancy almost killed her. 

WHY Tori WHY?????? 
I’ve always really liked her…. I feel for her…. I just…. I don’t even know with her.  
And goodness gracious we just KNOW this is going to be another reality show. 
I can see the Today Show and E! interview circuit starting already……. 
and every magazine they can get their hands on….. 



:: REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MELBOURNE REUNION :: 
The outfits for these ladies are really giving Kathryn Calhoun and Carole a run for their money.
Lydia especially. 

Although for Pettifleur this was actually demure. 


I was cackling laughing before the introductions even started.
Pettifleur was asking if you could see a panty line the way she was sitting and 
Janet imitates Pettifleur with her voice and says “Who begs to differ… why would you need spanx if you’re in the best shape of your life?”



It. Was. Hilarious. 

:: LUANN ::
LuAnn “I’m getting married” de Lesseps is, you guessed it, getting married! 



I wasn’t sure if you knew that, so I wanted to clarify before continuing.
LuAnn is GETTING MARRIED.  
I saw this photo on a sidebar on RealityTea but can’t find an article for it when I click on it…. 



….. looks like she’s having a Bachelorette party with no Housewives in sight.
Something tells me she’ll have multiple Bachelorette parties and as many parties for the engagement and wedding as possible.
….I just wonder what she will be thinking about Tom and a Bachelor party? 
I’m sure he’ll be SUPER well behaved.  Such a gentleman that Tom is.  


:: MAZEL :: 
to Kris Kardashian for finding a way to divert the media attention away from everything going on in the world directly back on to her family…
… I tell ya…. that Kris knows no bounds….. 
it’s like no one even remembers that Brad and Angelina are going through a seriously messy mud-singling divorce.  

Ohhhh I jest.  
Gunpoint robberies are nothing to joke about and I know it was serious so SIMMA DOWN now. 


… but really… only the Kardashians ….. 


EDITORS NOTE : 
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.

gifs and images via giphy, ABC , E!, Reall Housewives Tmblr, and Bravo 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
fashion, Lifestyle

:: wishlist wednesday ::

October 5, 2016

:: wishlist wednesday ::
lusts for the week……. 
   
First I wanted to share one my favorite finds. 
You know I love an open back, so when I saw this sweater I couldn’t resist. 
It is one of the softest things I have ever felt – nothing itchy about it; it feels like a cashmere blanket.  Seriously.
In Chicago it’s cold for months on end, and it gets hard to dress up but stay warm.  This is the perfect way to stay warm, but show a bit of skin for a night out when it’s super cold.  


//  OPEN BACK SWEATER  //  OPEN TOE BOOTIES //
and I have been LIVING in these booties.  They are so comfortable and so cute – I even survived a night out in NYC wearing them with no blisters or problems! 

We need to start with the most important item that is likely to sell out fast.
This pill bottle purse really makes a statement. 
I mean…… wow.  I just had to share
{it’s HIGH-larious…. ba-dum-chhhh} 
//  PILL BOTTLE PURSE  // 
occasionally I’ll see things like this on Shopbop,
 but not often on Nordstrom? 
I love it.  It really makes my day when I see something like this, 
and then seeing the price tag is even better! 


I love, love this navy shift dress.  So cute.  
//  NAVY LACE SHIFT  // 



//  LACE UP SUEDE BOOTIES  // 


the perfect plaid button down.  love this print. 
//  PERFECT PLAID  // 


and another adorably preppy top for Fall. 
The trim at the top of this sweater is so cute. 

//  RUFFLE TRIM SWEATSHIRT  // 



I love suede skirts for fall, 
and this asymmetrical hemline gives it the special touch. 

//  ASYMMETRICAL SUEDE SKIRT  // 
I also love this Black Leather skirt ! 




This is the perfect LBD for a fancy night out in fall or winter. 

//  LBD WITH LACE DETAIL  // 
I also love this similar BLACK SHIFT DRESS WITH LACE CAP SLEEVES 


adorable sweater with the side snap detailing 
comes in several colors too! 
//  SIDE SNAP SWEATER  // 


I’ve been needing a bracelet stack for awhile now and I think this is just the one to try! 
I really like both of these color combinations. 

//  SET OF 5 BRACELET STACK  // 



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by TheSarcasticBlonde 
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Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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