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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

June 20, 2013

discuss amongst ya-selves…..

coffee talk is up a bit late today. I’m still recovering from screaming my head off at the television. 
I was having anxiety attacks a-la-claire danes on homeland every 3 minutes last night watching the Blackhawks game.
It was perhaps the most intense 3 hours of sports I have ever watched. 
  And after 3 periods and overtime, we WON.


Oh wait, I’m sure you don’t give a damn, soooo on to coffee talk!

Princesses of Long Island:
Jeff and Amanda – I just can’t even handle it.
“Jeff LOVES Watching me get out of the pool”. 
{hes probably watching the pool boy behind you}
They hump on lounge chairs while a poor waiter is trying to take their order and repeat “I love you Mama! I love you Dada!” to one another.  It just keeps getting worse and worse. 
Chanel (or Coco…. pick your poison.  We are 3 episodes in and I still can’t figure out which one annoys me the least) announces that HER DAD BUYS HER LINGERIE…as if it is a normal occurrence. 
 UM. You need to see a therapist.  Immediately. And add this to the list you keep mentioning of why you aren’t married.  To be fair, she seems really nice and doesn’t seem to be making the horrid life decisions her friends do. But…. that nice comment being said…. YOUR DAD BUYS YOU LINGERIE???? 

And Casey went from normal to bipolar during the course of one episode.  It begins with her saying “I want to punch you in the face right now” when Erica apologizes for sleeping with her high school boyfriend.
all I kept thinking during this moment was how Casey should say Lauren’s EPIC line:
So, Casey wants to hit her, but by the end of the episode, she changes her mind. 
So, cut to Erica. The girl who used to be the hottest girl in NJ and now is the biggest hot mess I have ever seen is trying to wash down some adderall with a jug of wine at 3 am, and Casey decides she wants to be her AA sponsor! Obviously!!  Casey came into her life for a reason!!! WTF? as Coco would say, Oy vey. 

ughhhhhhh. these two were out together monday.
enough with this back and forth and back and forth! I can’t take it anymore! How many times do we have to scream at you to run as fast as you can Liam! Horse Mouth will is gonna eat you alive!!


We all know Kimye had the baby.
And everyone is just dying to know the name!!!! 

My money is on Kimberly Kanye West.  God forbid attention be taken away from either of them at any point in their lives. 


okay…. so a few weeks ago we discussed how T. Swift was reportedly hooking up with this guy.
Now, SELENA GOMEZ??? I’m sorry…. WHAT am I missing here?
Another perfect example of how men can get anyone based on personality alone.  When guys deny this fact, it infuriates me.  Take a look above: Exhibit A. He must have one bangin’ personality.

RHOOC:
The salsa party brought out some interesting outfits.  
and by interesting, I clearly mean hideous. 
Tamra.  No.  Just no. 

And Slade, yes, Lydia is crazy skinny and could use a cheeseburger.  
Sorry But I’m with Lydia – it’s inappropriate for a man to be making comments any to a woman about her weight at all, skinny or fat.  
And if we are going to state the obvious when it is inappropriate to do so, everyone would spend every moment with you telling you what a worthless d-bag you are. 
 So shut your pie hole.  And go get a damn job. 

Why is Jamie Chung a celebrity? Her face is everywhere!
She is in EVERY issue multiple times of People Style Watch, at every premiere, and now Us Weekly is making her the top story for their celebrity round up of what people did this week.  When did this happen?

Newlyweds:
Tina’s dad brought his new lady-friend to dinner. 
And made out with her and grabbed her the whole time. Like, MADE OUT and smooshed his face all up on her.  Of course I can’t find a photo (which is probably a good thing). 

It was the most digusting thing ever, and for once, Tina’s outbursts were completely warranted.
Oh my god it was just so disgusting. 

Alexis Neiers, The Bling Ring girl is on Dateline tomorow at 10. Set your DVR!

{my video clip keeps disappearing so click here}

Ya know, the one that got the crazy E! show Pretty Wild we mentioned a few weeks ago. And that now is a movie I am dying to see. 


And finally, Andy Cohen showed Hairy Panty Hose on WWHL that women in China are apparently wearing to keep men from staring at their legs.  They are panty hose that make your legs look like hairy mens legs.
They are hilarious – and I wanted to post a picture of them here so that we all could laugh together.
Whatever you do, 
DO NOT GOOGLE HAIRY PANTY HOSE.
Do not. Even “WWHL Andy Cohen hairy panty hose”
brings up REALLY BAD THINGS. 
perverts ruin everything! 


xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. Shelby {Recent Somethings} says: June 20, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    Um, this is hilarious. We 'gave up' cable about a year ago but I don't even have to know what these shows are. I'll just wait for your re-caps 🙂

  2. Laura {happily ever} Parker says: June 20, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    So I finally caught an episode of Princesses and I think my mouth hung open the.entire.time. I was so confused as to who the dad was and who the daughter was. Totally inappropriate disgusting relationships they have!! I wanted to turn it off but I couldn't look away! Lydia out to try and smoke some pot like her mother – perhaps it will give her an opportunity to get the munchies and feed that frail body of hers!

    • Taylor says: June 20, 2013 at 7:40 pm

      how did I not think of that!? she just needs some pot in her life! the solution has been right in front of her the whole time!

  3. Lindley @ The Grinning Labrador says: June 20, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Your mention of the blackhawks/bruins game, OMG, it was insanity and has been these last four games!! As a Bruins follower, I have to say I nearly broke my tv upon last night's blackhawk victory and I am sure these next few games will be just as intense!

    Also, your gossip roundups are the best… no need for me to drop in on Perez anymore haha

  4. Kelsey (Southern in Love) says: June 20, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Can we also talk about what a hypocrite Tina's father is? He didn't like Tarz because he was white and now he's dating a white girl.

  5. The Now says: June 20, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    I don't know if it was just that episode, but the "princesses" were really ANNOYING!!!!! And the makeout sesh by the pool was effing disgusting. I don't get Jamie Chung either…I mean she was on the Real World San Diego like 10 years ago and has been in some lame movies but why does she get so much press. And I vote for E! to bring back Pretty Wild…except I think one is in jail for heroin :-/ xoox

  6. Natalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers} says: June 20, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    Another fab recap. What the hell is wrong with Liam? Will he ever get smart and ditch horse mouth for good? Slade is so annoying to me as were his remarks to Lydia. Almost as annoying as Gretchen's voice it is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And Eddie's outfit? No words. Jamie Chung was just wondering the same thing- wasn't she on the Real World? and what has she been in since then?? Im so confused.

  7. viki-talks.com says: June 20, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    girl, u r hilarious!
    love reading u 🙂

    http://www.viki-talks.com

  8. Chelsea says: June 21, 2013 at 12:04 am

    This is on point, as always!

  9. Linda {Calling it Home} says: June 21, 2013 at 11:09 am

    You left out the 'Newlyweds' male couple when the one kept saying "It's been two weeks and no pee pee in the butt". Hilarious as always.

  10. Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door says: June 21, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    I saw Andy with those pant hose and I couldn't look away. Was disgusted but couldn't. look. away.

  11. Courtney says: June 30, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    haha thanks for the recap, i have no cable just hulu plus and apple tv so i'll have to just get all my tv gossip from your posts <3
    Xo Courtney || ColorMeCourtney.com

  12. Katie Kanda says: July 19, 2013 at 1:23 am

    I've noticed a few times you have said someone from princesses of LI was from NJ. You do realize they are all from Ny and the boys are from the south shore not south jersey. ( I'm from nj lol don't want us getting an even worse rep than we already have!)

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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