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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

coffee talk, Lifestyle

coffee talk

September 25, 2014

discuss amongst ya-selves…… 
  
It’s like the TV Gods KNEW we moved into a new place this week 
and coincided it with the premiere week of all the TV shows.
The TV timing….. It’s just been too good to be true.  
So thank you, TV Gods. 


Monday night, our first night alone in the house, the season premiere of Big Bang Theory… the #1 show we watch together.  
I’VE BEEN GOOD TO MY TV AND TV IS BEING GOOD TO ME! 

AND this week was the season finale of Big Brother, 

the greatest summer series that gets me through the summer hiatus of every other show. . 

PAH-REACH. 
side note: when my friend, who is as Bravo obsessed as anyone I know, got married a few weeks ago and went on her honeymoon, it was the only hiatus for my boyfriend Andy Cohen’s WWHL.  It premiered right when she returned.  Coincidence? I THINK NOT. 

I am way to into Dancing With The Stars this season.
An embarrassing amount of into it. 
I blame it on my mom Nance Pants being in town the week before the move to help us pack.  She was here for over a week staying with us 
(my husbands dream!!!!! what a lucky son in law!!! TWO OF ME!!!!!) 
my husband is one of four boys….. needless to say he did not grow up around a lot of chatter….. 
so we made sure to be quiet and let him decompress when we got home from work every night. 
so we showed him what he was missing his whole life by not being around women who never stop talking.
I would come home from work and we would immediately order food and talk about what we were about to watch. 
Or what we were currently watching.  
Or what we watched the night before, like WWHL, after we moved from the couch to our separate bedrooms after 10 PM so we hadn’t discussed yet. 

But enough about my crazy-thrilling-exciting life…..
back to DWTS……
I seriously love it.  And it’s so raunchy sometimes I can’t believe it is a family show! And Tom Bergeron is hi-larious. I love him.  
But you know who I can’t stand? Erin Andrews.  I’m starting a “Bring Back Brooke Burke Charvet” petition because seriously ERIN IS HORRIBLE.  
WHY DID THEY REPLACE BROOKE WITH THIS AWFUL PERSON???

And HOW has she been interviewing people on television for years???? 
HOW!!!???!!! 

(the following to be read super fast and dramatically while flailing hands in the air ) :: She stutters constantly and she can’t understand any of the jokes Tom makes and can’t come up with anything to say after people answer her question from her damn notecard and she knocks people in the chin with her microphone!!! 
I have a horrible fear of speaking in public and even I could ask better questions and be wittier than she is.  
Who else is watching DWTS? Leave your comments and tell me who you like and if you can’t stand Erin Andrews either. 
and please tell me, is her voice not like nails on a chalkboard???  
Ugh…. once again, my deep man voice is even better than hers!!! 

speaking of DWTS, look how much taller stacy keibler is than her husband/fiance/guy that got her preggo five seconds after george clooney dumped her. 
UMMMMMMMMM.
Huge news.
The Peoples Couch premieres october 2nd
eeeee!!!!! 
dear tv gods, please cast me on the peoples couch. amen. 

but WAIT.
 it gets better.
I just googled to get a picture for this post and THIS CAME UP.

 THIS IS UNREAL.


Darla’s boyfriend from Little Rascals and Full House guy that sings the obnoxious I’m a yankee doodle dandy you could never forget
 IS THE GUY ON PEOPLES COUCH.
CAN YOU EVEN!?!? 

so far this post is about me interviewing people on DWTS and me being cast on The People’s Couch. 
 But truly… I deserve to be on The People’s Couch…. I excel at sitting on couches talking to myself about what I am watching.  

this commercial is my favorite thing ever
I have been rewinding it every time I see it and singing the song.

this commercial scares the hell out of me.

OK OK ILL CHANGE TO DIRECT TV ROB!!! GEEZ!!! 
I am so excited to see Gone Girl that I am strongly considering going to re-read the book.  I truly have never felt so strongly about a book being the greatest damn thing since sliced bread.  The movie will pale in comparison I’m sure, like most “based on” movies do, but it’s going to be so great. 

ALSO if you are going to see This Is Where I Leave You, read the book first – it’s a quick, great read. 

I haven’t been inside a movie theatre in three and half years….
so this is a big deal.
literally…. the last movie I saw in a theatre was Bridesmaids…. and that is the only one I’ve seen in 4+ years in a theatre.  what is wrong with me? 

mazel of the week : 
THE GUY ON PEOPLES COUCH.  DUH!!!!!!! 


ps. SCANDAL is back tonight.  
break out the vino baby. 
maybe I’ll drink red instead of pinot grigio in her honor? 

and I think I need to watch How To Get Away With Murder…. the 97th viewing of the commercial where she draws on the chalkboard and puts down the chalk and says “and THAT is how you get away with murder” has solely convinced me. 

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either.  or the day after that.


by TheSarcasticBlonde 

About TheSarcasticBlonde

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Comments

  1. BLovedBoston says: September 25, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    The highlight of this post for me – you told me when People's Couch was coming back!! I'm beyond obsessed with that show! Woo hoo for scandal tonight!!

  2. monique says: September 25, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    every time i read your posts i know we would be great friends…love that you referenced the full house, yankee doodle, how can anyone forget that? yes.scandal.

  3. Dani says: September 25, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    I am totally re-reading Gone Girl now! I recommend it. I always rememberd Amy as being bat-shit crazy but have been reminded that Nick is just as bad!!

  4. Layci says: September 25, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    I. Cant. Stand. Erin Andrews. I used to cry when I had to speak in front of my class and I could interview people better than her. I've started fast-forwarding any time she speaks because she makes me so uncomfortable. I'm rooting for Sadie – I just love the Robertson family. Allison Holker is one of my favorite dancers though, so pulling for her and Mean Girls (I dont know his name) as well! Who is your favorite?

  5. Jerp says: September 25, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Entertainment Weekly says the Gone Girl movie is good and won't disappoint those who read the book (all of America) so fingers crossed. I think the last movie I saw in the theater was Lincoln and shoooooo it was long, especially since everyone already knew how it would end. What's up with movies on actual events being so long?

    People's Couch is my favorite show EVER. When you explain it to people who don't watch a lot of tv it makes you sound like the biggest loser though, "So you're watching a tv show of people watching a tv show?? Sweet?" Until it starts back, you should check out the Hack into Broad City videos. It's funny, cause it's not me. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA886121710BDCAF9

  6. Beth says: September 26, 2014 at 2:00 am

    Long time reader, first time commenter: Congrats on new house. Love dancing with the stars this season. It is not a family show, my 7 yr old asks (when I do let her watch it,) "why does that guy have his shirt unbuttoned" or "why did he take off his shirt" or "where's her dress?" so I couldn't let her watch it anymore. I'm out on Erin Andrews. Bless her, she is not good.

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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