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The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

Lifestyle

Coffee Talk

February 16, 2012

discuss amongst ya-selves….

as always, to kick it off, The Bachelor. 
most honest thing ben said all night
“i’m kinda weird. i’m kind of a strange guy.”
yeah…. you’re a boring as hell, awful bachelor Ben. 

but most importantly….in courtney’s own words…. 
“oh snap!” 
via
guess who made it to hometown!?
I started to get really, really nervous… that the only crazy conceited b*tch left on this show keeping it interesting was going to go home. 
phew.  who would have thought? Small Mouth saves the day! 
via
i really did laugh out loud (almost as hard as I am right now about the picture above) when she leaves for her date and says 
“bye… i can’t stand you all” 
and the most enlightening words we hear from her yet, that should wake horny-as-hell Ben up and realize she sucks (oh but wait… no… it’s Ben we’re talking about…. he’s riding this thing ALL the way to the Fantasy Suite with Small Mouth.)
“the other women are very…. into themselves. 
 they aren’t who I would be friends with.”
“I have a lot of good friends…. a lot of guy friends.” 
NO?!?!? You are one of ‘those girls’ that just gets along so much better with guys??? I am just shocked Small Mouth!!! Never would have guessed you have no girlfriends!?
via
anyways, I couldn’t be more thrilled we get her around for another week. The awful entertaining one never makes it this far! anyone notice that she never smiles or laughs or anything when she is on dates with Ben? the only laugh I’ve seen is when she’s making a bitchy comment about the other girls. 


dumb blonde comment of the week: 
“i love how spontaneous ben is.  he is always having adventures.”
via

no… that’s the producers. you know, the people arranging all of this. 
idiot. 

sweet little kacie b. gets all kinds of worked up in those confessionals! 
via

swearing like a truck driving with that southern drawl! and saying she wants to stomp and kill Small Mouth!
who-would-have-thought she had that in her?! 
although I would probably want to by this point too…. 

Summary:
via
it ain’t over yet!! hallelujah! I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet.
because trust me, googling “courtney small mouth” and finding pictures is the highlight of my week. 

moving along….RHOOC

heather’s obnoxious side is starting to come out. yippee! 
via
“we just really need more space…..” 
right…. because your gigantic home with a full size movie theatre, elevator, and who knows how many square feet just became so so tiny when you had a surprise 8 pound baby.

gretchen goes topless.  but it’s for charity! don’t worry.
via
I have to say…. although her face looks different in every single solitary scene I see her in – she has a seriously amazing body.  It’s too bad she wastes it on a complete d-bbag guy like Slade. 

vicki claims she isn’t controlling anymore…. that mr. brooks wouldn’t let her control him because he’s all southern and man-like.
via
vicki knows where to draw the line.  she just understands that grown men have never packed for a weekend trip themselves EVER in their life, so she felt the need to help out because he fills her love tank. totally different than controlling. 

from plus size model to sports illustrated swimsuit issue?
she says she has been a double-0 to a size 16.
touche lady.
if that isn’t motivation to get your tush on the treadmill, and proof that the hard work pays off, I don’t know what is. 
via
don’t judge, but I always but the SI swimsuit issue
although, my lord, is she even wearing bottoms??? 
I earn brownie points with my boyfriend for buying it “for him”, but really it’s because I think it’s fun to flip through.  It’s like watching the Victoria’s Secret fashion show…. for some reason I enjoy it, yet in the end I feel inadequate so I don’t really understand why?
apparently the cover model Kate Upton is already living up to the
model + athlete stereotype

with Mark Sanchez 
but we all know she hasn’t really made it in the model world until Leonardo DiCaprio snatches her up.  

cute couple alert!

zac efron & lily collins spent valentine’s day together.
I fully approve of this.  just look at those pairs of big eyebrows. 

i’m going to puke if these two are back together again
I wonder how long she has ever stayed alone or single between relationships? Maybe as long as Kate Hudson or Drew Barrymore? 
I’m surprised she went back to the ex, instead of finding a new hottie to get her name in the press.  She must have been short on time? 
Understandable…. she’s a busy businesswoman after all. 

hillary duff’s hubby mike comrie is retiring from the NHL

baby at 24? retiring at 31? I love you Hillary but slow down! Lizzy McGuire can’t pay for everything forever! 

speaking of babies, Sienna Miller is the latest on the baby bandwagon
she still looks tiny all over except for that little bump

Finally… has anyone watched Smash yet? 

I haven’t seen it yet, but have heard it is amazing and am hoping to catch up this weekend! Monday’s are becoming a serious issue between me + my DVR…. I already can’t record several a few things….and Bethenny Ever After premieres this coming Monday…. I’m starting to get nervous.

how do you know when you’ve reached a TV addiction low? 
you watch as much TV as I do.

xoxo
by TheSarcasticBlonde 

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Comments

  1. TheTinyHeart says: February 16, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I thought for sure Courtney was going home after she said all the stuff about not getting along with girls…you'd think that would've been a red flag, but nooope. I'm starting to think he's going to pick her in the end…he's right, they are both really weird! And my DVR is at full capacity and almost didn't record RHOOC! Thank goodness I caught it in time.

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart

  2. LR {SIX TWELVE PLACE} says: February 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    YES, On Monday's I dominate the DVR. It's starting to be a problem. And just so you know, I look forward to these coffee talk posts every week!

  3. The Now says: February 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    so much to talk about! I must have missed Courtney saying, "Bye..I can't stand you all" but that is actually kind of funny/bitchy. Clearly she is one of those girls with only guy friends. Ughhhh!!! I am not a huge musical fan but I LOVED the first episode of Smash! And I haven't seen RHOC yet but now I am really pumped about it. I love getting topless for charities too. or let's be honest I'll get topless for anything! jk haha! xoxo elizabeth

  4. Julia - the Urban Slant says: February 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    OMG! Yes. I can't record everything on Monday! I have SEVERE anxiety. Like I can't NOT record something. AH.

  5. ashley nicole catherine says: February 16, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    hahah i freakin love this series!! um first of all, heather is a total beyotch..she's so condescending!! and totally feel you on the SI swimsuit issue.. whyyy do i do it to myself? i cannot WAIT for bethenny. fave housewife. ever.

  6. Sundresses and Smiles says: February 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    I was watching The Bachelor on demand and knew I couldn't read this post until it was over, because I didn't want to know the ending! Courtney was cracking me up this episode–she seemed like she was on drugs during the cocktail party "This pina colada feel SO good on my lips!"

  7. Just Ask Beth says: February 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Most AWESOME Blog I have read in forever..so hilarious and SPOT ON!!

  8. Nat says: February 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    I really hope that Reggie isn't dumb enough to get back together with her!! Oh don't worry I've heard Hilary's husband comes from some super duper wealthy Canadian family and he's already a billionaire so I think he pretty much plays hocky for fun because he doesn't need the $$

  9. Molly says: February 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Gretchen's annoying me already, but I agree, her bod's pretty bangin'. Did she get lip injections/implants? It's hard to tell.

    I should use the SI swimsuit issue as motivation for after the baby arrives. Although, it's going to be hard to compete with a 19 year old. Lord, when did I get so old?!

Hi. I’m Taylor

A Southern girl turned Chicago transplant, recently settling back down in Atlanta. Fluent in sarcasm. Devout Bravo-holic and TV addict. Balances fitness with french fries. Penchant for Prosecco and Pinot Grigio. Wannabe Ina Garten in the kitchen. Online shopping enthusiast. Lover of fashion and decor.

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