note: Coffee Talk is a place for sarcasm and nonsense and completely unimportant trivial things.
I never mean to seem insensitive to the much more important and horrifically sad things going on in the world, and although I never really comment here about them, my thoughts and prayers are always there.
this is simply a spot to think about something else for a brief moment and hopefully smile.
and there is half-assed one today because I spent the night with my husband, listening to Christmas music, decorating our house, with no TV or computer in sight. sometimes you need a night with your loved one and nothing else.
because when the best Housewives are back, we must discuss. It can’t be delayed.
I have something to say, and most of you aren’t gonna like it.
I’m just really over and kinda done with Lisa Vanderpump.
from the first scene, with her making her stupid one liner “jokes” that are always so predictable or at someone else expense, I’m like, you aren’t even funny! enough!
it’s been slowly building, especially since last season, and it’s never one particular thing but its when everything rolls together.
and then when you top it with a talking-sheyite on Yolanda cherry.
nay nay fluffy.
but we’ll get to that.
the other lisa, the better, more amazing, ACTUALLY hilarious Lisa Rina is back we should just slow clap for her. just a few reasons the slow clap is deserved :
her daughter works in a Deli. God bless you Lisa.
she has her husband at, like, number 16 on her favorites list on her phone.
she is hardworking, and comments on how so many women just get expensive handbags handed to them from rich husbands and probably hate their lives. then realizes, ha, wait, they probably actually like it never mind.
she is capable of being embarrassed : she draws the line at a diarrhea commercial. standards people.
sweet little Eileen is back – and though not much to comment on – whats not to like about a sweet, normal person in real life that plays a crazy betch everyday on TV and is very likely still the least crazy out of all of these housewives.
kyle is living the life with mauricio and her family,
and then we talk about Kim and everything goes to crap for her.
ugh. I really feel all the feels for kyle about everything involving her sister.
(because we haven’t been introduced to the 2 new blonde train wrecks yet …. and lets be honest…. even if they grow on us as the season passes, they always start out as just complete hot messes that try too hard …. we’ll see if I’m right (spoiler alert: I will be….. and then somehow I’ll love them….))
so finally, Yolanda.
to be shallow and vain and honest with you, it really isn’t the same without the fabulous house tucked amongst the lemon trees and a walk in refrigerator.
it’s just not. but obviously I can’t say that because dammit thats not whats important here! have a heart!
but Yolanda is back, with the Lyme disease getting worse, and I feel just awful for her!!
I meannnnn I think it goes without saying that the news of her divorce from David announced right before the premiere was shocking. did not see that one coming.
so yolanda has been trying all different treatments all over the world and not getting any better, and basically from what it seems getting worse.
she decides to try to make an appearance at Rinna’s birthday party.
she goes, and Vanderpump just starts in with her awful-ness right away!
oh – and I forgot, prior to this, she is already making comments acting like “something fishy is going on” with Yolanda’s lyme disease, implying she is lying or faking somehow.
You better watch yourself, Girl!!!
and Vanderpump doesn’t stop.
with lines such as “put some under eye concealer on.”
“if i didn’t feel well, i wouldn’t be there.”
yep. officially done with Vanderpump. for real. she should be ashamed of herself.
and then Ken (who, by the way, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED, the way he has spoken to (YELLED AT) women on this show and gotten involved in the drama in past years horrifies me – never okay.) and then Ken interrupts kyle or rinna or one of them who is saying she looks beautiful to say she looks awful.
and then says imn his commentary “I told her she looked good, I probably made her feel better, you know, a man telling her she looked good.”
Oh yes, Ken. Your opinion means so much to her.
I CAN’T PEOPLE. I CAN’T.
(10 second pause for dramatic effect)
I JUST CAN’T.
I can already sense that Vanderpump is going down the “does brooks have cancer”-gate way with Yolanda and THIS BEYOTCH (me) over here is NOT GONNA TAKE IT.
OHHHHH and ONE MORE COMMENT
but I’d love to see an episode of all of you filming with zero make-up.
not even sick with no make-up! just no make-up!
and then we’ll see who’s talking sheyite!
because unless I’m blind, she looks pretty damn good to me!
she’s a model. she is sick. she looks better than probably 90% of america. or more.
SO LOCK IT UP.
:: vanderpump rules ::
my deepest sympathies that I do not have time to discuss the second greatest show of the week.
it just gets better and better…..(aka worse and worse) …… these people…. I just can’t.
:: bachelor ::
bachelor commercials are already starting for january
AND I CANNOT WAIT.
let me know your thoughts 🙂
and I know the world is filled with Vanderpump lovers…
and I just really put all my bad feels out there…..
but, sorry I’m not sorry
promise to gossip more next time!