discuss amongst ya-selves……..
:: the bachelorette ::
shawn can’t even say nick’s name. he can only say “that other guy”.
I can’t even look at him/listen to him and his drama anymore.
you can say “the other guy” all you want, but HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED still had S-E-X with the girlfriend you are becoming a deranged psychopath over.
and “the other guy” is going to have S-E-X with her AGAIN the night before you try to do it too on your fantasy suite date soooooo…….
and I said this on Tuesday’s post, but seriously, someone get Shawn a Costco size package of Clean & Clear Oil Removing Sheets STAT.
bens been my fav since day one
because he physically is the most my type, he has a decent job, he isn’t jumping into ‘I love you’ on their first date, he seems so normally awkward about the whole experience
only kaitlyn’s first reaction to ben being polite and saying in front of the entire production crew about the fantasy suite date night that he “can’t wait to stay up all night talking” is “ARE YOU A VIRGIN?”
no kaitlyn. he has what some of us refer to as CLASS.
and he also probably has a MOTHER WATCHING THE SHOW.
I literally can’t even. I’m sorry. I can’t.
Joe saying “Did I stutter?” when confessing his love to Kaitlyn before being dumped mere moments later
was so sad and I feel awful for him was hilarious and I rewound it 4 times.
I did feel really bad for
whats his face Jared (why can’t I remember ANYONES name this season??) going home. He was so sweet about getting sent home too. Tries to give her his jacket and everything.
I can’t believe they stay in Ireland for The Fantasy Suite Week. WHAT? Ireland looks amazing, but come on, send them somewhere WARM they’re freezing!! This proves that ABC knows when it’s The Bachelor they want the girls in bikinis, and they’ll take you to Thailand or Fiji or anywhere else you want to go, but not the other way around.
most importantly…. only a few more weeks until Bachelor In Paradise, where sheyite will get real. PAH-REACH.
PS. Thank you to Kelsey for telling me about the scripted show about the making of a bachelor-reality-show called Unreal on Lifetime (Lifetime has the best shady TV shows ever). I haven’t even seen it yet and I am already basing my Friday night plans around it. And you know I’m absolutely not joking in any way. It looks INCREDIBLE.
also, while I’m thanking of all you for always keeping me up to date on things I need to know (nonsense), miss garlic thank you for always giving me the best commentary ever – like how Shawn’s nickname on a podcast called The Right Reasons is Ryan Shnozling. Can’t. Even. soooo when I’m not watching Unreal this weekend, I’ll be listening to this podcast.
:: ben affleck and jen garner::
what are our thoughts on this?
because I forgot to mention it last week, but in my group text with my girlfriends all my thoughts went straight to j.lo and then a battle of “why do you love J.Lo but hate on Kim Kardashian?” ensued and I went single white female crazy ass beyotch defending my J. Lo and bringing up Kim Ksex tape and Ray J ……. and then it spiraled out of control and I forgot we were talking about ben affleck and jennifer garners divorce.
……. now I’m all riled up again about the defending J. Lo being even compareddddddd to Kim K and I can’t focus again……..
:: RHONY ::
they are all just such a hot mess on this trip I love it.
I can’t wait to see LuAnn say the “don’t be all uncool” line next week about the man sleeping in the bedroom next to heather + carol’s room.
I mean come on y’all lighten up
ugh bethenny is back at it this week.
just let people say what they want and sit silently, then talk about them behind their back or in your confessional thing later like everyone else!
heather is right, she does think she’s the authority on everything.
but so does heather. and therein lies the problem between these two.
they both need to just listen to dorota and “BACK THAT SHIT UP AND BACK IT UP QUICK”.
I love Dorota, even though she was a total too many martinis cry baby drunk this week, but I’ll forgive her.
:: Flipping Out ::
I was trying to watch flipping out while I wrote this post, and I had to rewind and re-watch the same scenes over and over again because I kept missing things and would be laughing because I only caught the end of it and knew I needed to see all of it. This show kills me.
I just love Jeff Lewis so much. And Jenni. And all of them. I know I post these every season and every time I mention him……. but it really sums up what I look for in people and how I know we would be compatible.
too many photo bomb pictures?
sorry I’m not sorry, I saved the best for last!
um, YOU’RE WELCOME because I know those just made your day.
and if not, you are reading the wrong blog people.
(Al I know they made yours at least).
but seriously, the scene this week of Jenni and Jesse in his truck on the way to the job site I was crying laughing. tears.
:: The Gallows ::
how many damn commercials for The Gallows horror movie are going to play on Bravo every hour?? Every commercial break?? because I can’t get to the remote fast enough to change the channel or fast forward EVERY time. and I am a professional channel changer/fast-forwarder. How does it keep scaring the living daylights out of me when I don’t even watch commercials??? HOW!?
:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK ::
Britt and KODY (its with a C but the K is more fitting )
Why do I remember his name, but no one else’s? Oh, because its KODY.
Can you even IMAGINE if she was the bachelorette this season?
Imagine how many tubes of lipstick she would have eaten these past few weeks on the show?
Imagine how many tubes of lipstick she has eaten in her LIFETIME?
Jackhole to ABC for showing us these stupid updates to their ridiculous relationship. SERIOUSLYYYYYY ABC we have standards. They aren’t high, but we have ’em.
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.