discuss amongst ya-selves…..
THE BACHELOR. (and coffee talk)
and better/worse than ever, depending on how you rate quality television.
no matter how bad it is, to me that just makes it better and better.
there is now a red carpet one hour prior to the show.
which is a perfect example of how horrible/amazing this show is. I LOVE IT. but seriously without DVR and fast forward this show is pure torture.
This red carpet is just filled with
tons of losers with no jobs some semi good looking past contestants from recent seasons many with STD’s which we learned from watching them behave like total filth on Bachelor In Paradise.
what the hell is catherine wearing over her dress ?
what red carpet do you think you are walking ? you are not sarah jessica parker.
oh lord, lacey and marcus are there. what ridiculousness will come out of her mouth next? ps. nice try trying to make a joke at your own expense with the 80/40 comment. even the joke didn’t come out right.
oh, and thank GAWD chris harrison interviewed Nikki for an eternity about Juan Pablo (to be read as JP says it : Huann Pahh-lo).
there’s 15 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
all the bachelor cast offs are standing behind chris on the red carpet wanting to be on TV SO BADLY in the background for a few more seconds of attention.
all of this said, I WOULD KILL to have been there for these red carpet shenanigans. seriously.
okay so the show premiers and as usual there are too many people to make fun of, and believe it or not, I don’t have enough time to go through every single one of them with my opinion. I do have a life.
A life that entails me watching Girlfriends Guide to Divorce and catching up on instagram tonight while I text my friend about how much wine we are going to consume saturday night.
my favorite choice : mackenzie
named her child kale.
nothing says teen pregnancy like naming your child kale.
oh and nothing says teen pregnancy like being 21, looking 19, and having a son that looks 8. yikes.
such a great crazy. she’s going to be lovely.
two fav quotes from ashley
“the night is growing old….. WITH WRINKLES.” (no joke I am going to start using that)
“everyone is like an onion. and you cut them. and peel them back.” thats deep, ash.
so far I’m feeling REAL good about chris’ ability to pick a lady.
he gave a rose to the 21 year old with an 18 year old son, ALL the drunk degenerates (YEAH TARA!), and gave the first impression rose to the girl who hugs him and doesn’t let go and cries upon meeting him.
oh, and when googling for a photo of tara this came up.
I MEAN. SERIOUSLY. TARA. DID WE NEED TO KNOW THAT?? GEEZ.
VANDERPUMP RULES :
this week features sheana’s bachelorette party in miami
all of this includes her little sister.
you’d think she wouldn’t be seeing much because she is super young and can’t go to the clubs at night….. but um…. no. she is on the boat with them and at their hotel suite.
THE PREVIEWS FOR NEXT WEEK WITH TOM-GIRL CRYING AND CRAZY-KRISTIN CONSOLING HIM WHILE HE SAYS “I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO SPEND OUR LIVES TOGETHER?!”
HOLY OH MY GOODNESS IM COUNTING THE HOURS
I mean, this week was just some GREAT television all around.
Brandi is at dinner with 3 normal, intelligent, hard working women… so naturally, she decides to act as horrible as ever.
she yells at eileen to GET INTO CHARACTER like a freak days of our lives fan (lets not forget last week she yelled at eileen accusing her of being wrong about the casting on the show SHE WORKS ON), then throws money at her because she confuses emmy award winning actress with stripper, and then throws a glass of backwash wine in. her. face.
eileen really composes herself
much better a million times better than I would have.
as if that wasn’t enough brandi mayhem for one episode, she continues her stellar behavior at Yolanda’s Barbie Dream House the next night.
Yolanda has a fabulous dinner party in her fabulous home complete with fabulous table settings, fabulous appetizers (I wanted to climb through the TV when Lisa Rinna was talking to the chefs in the kitchen about the food), and fabulous guests.
brandi turns to BABY FACE at dinner….. like…. BABYFACE and says to him and his new wife that he needed to go bigger on the ring (not in the sarcastic “you coulda gone bigger geez!” way that a normal person would).
but back to Babyface….. another reason I want to be Yolanda.
but more than that, I still just want her damn fridge (that lisa climbed into to be preserved).
I say it every week but I’m saying it again, I love lisa rinna so much.
I love her in this extra 2 minute deleted scene from the dinner, too
I love that she doesn’t BS anything and calls a spade a spade….. or a crazy a crazy.
with Brandi and Jeff Lewis :
I just LOVE JEFF LEWIS.
Jeff said the best line EVER:
He disagrees with Lisa Rinna that someone that is happy does not drink that much (referring to brandi).
He says “That’s not true. I’m happy and I drink that much.”
okay ….. so you all should be watching WWHL anyway, but Tuesday nights episode after RHOBH was a real kicker. (that brandi is now claiming was a joke)
Jeff Lewis and her were having witty banter back and forth….. blah blah….
a viewer wanted Brandi to run her fingers through his hair to prove it isn’t a toupee
and Jeff says “can I get an STD from that?”.
Laughter, show continues.
then like 9 hours later, when we get back from the second commercial since this happened, she is PISSED & upset and THROWS WINE in his face.
she is now tweeting it was a joke, while Jeff Lewis has stayed completely silent.
it was clearly not a joke, he was shocked and so uncomfortable.
she is just INSANE.
you are seriously THE WORST.
AND MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT YOUR FACE TO LOOK LIKE!
THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY OTHER THINGS FOR A PLASTIC SURGEON TO TWEAK!
NO ONE THINKS YOU LOOK THE SAME YOU CRAZY PANTS!!!
Jackhole of the Week
brandi. ugh. i can’t.
PS. I just had to go through and change the spelling of Brandy’s name to Brandi 50 times because I somehow continue to forget that DUH how could her name not be spelled with an -i at the end ?
What is wrong with me? I should name myself jackhole for that alone.
as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.