coffee talk

Thursday, May 23, 2013

discuss amongst ya-selves.... 

warning - lots of videos today.... 

 First up: It's totally not funny.
at all. laughing is so wrong. 
but it's hiarlious.
George Michael fell out of a moving Range Rover on the highway
 and The Sun article was titled
for all of you that aren't pissing your pants, please stop reading this blog.
or become an educated human and download all of Wham!s greatest hits immediately. 

but no, for the record it was a really, really bad accident.
but he is fine, so therefor its okay to laugh, right?
so lets all start slow clapping for the person with the balls
to titled the article SCRAPE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO SLOW. 

Have you seen Newlyweds: The First Year on Bravo?
Two people excite me: Lunatic Tina + Blair
screaming  like bloody murder "I hate you" at your husband of 10 minutes in front of everyone at the wedding is definitely a top 10 tip for happiness.
well played Tina.
But, more importantly. Blair.
This week there was an entire segment devoted to him receiving the text message that whitney houston died
i can't even handle it
so amazing.  the way his husband was looking at him is the way my man-friend looks at me during 99% of our conversations about important things,

Did any of you see the preview for The Bachelorette?
Because I will elaborate more next week....
but I kept staring at the TV being like "that's James.... that's definitely James...rewinding...(picking up phone to text my friend Sean about if his friend James is on the show)"
(I know the guy on the other side too... all Miami of Ohio FB players)
(I swear the guys at Miami of Ohio DO NOT pose like this. ever.)  
and then BAM
everyone hates James, he is the villian of the season, and has a girlfriend from home that shows up at the house.
I guess I have to watch now.  The clip was played on TV, and of course is nowhere to be found now, but they will show it all on Monday's episode during the season preview so get excited!!

alexis taking acting classes.

"yeah!!! I was on general hospital!!!"
watch below and prepare yourself:

how many takes do you think it took to say those "big" words??? 
please dear lord.  I would rather look at Jim than watch Alexis act which is really saying something.
oh, and slade got gretchen a rolls royce!! 
because when you can't pay child support, afford a mortgage, or buy an engagement ring,
you can OBVIOUSLY afford a rolls royce! WTF? douche. dumb ass. 

Everyone is freaking out about the finale of Kitchen Nightmares (gordon ramsey) because of some Crazy Amy Baking Company or something.
I'll be catching up on it this weekend because I am clueless, but I felt like I had to mention it incase anyone else cares. 
Gordon Ramsey is the craziest man ever, so I can't wait to see what happened with cops being called in + it getting this much press.

kristen stewart hung out with t. swift after her and rob broke up.
those two have about as much in common as a whore in church.

I don't watch DWTS, but my mom is obsessed and constantly calls.
me: no mom, you know I have 978 other shows I watch
 I can't believe you missed it!!! I'll keep it on the DVR until you get home!!! 
(she will keep things on the DVR for years.... years people)
Me:  Mom.  I can google it.  It's on YouTube. I'll watch it right now.
Nance Pants: Oh!!!!!! Really?! Already!?! It's amazing!!!!!
 But I'll keep it on the DVR for you. 
But, it is amazing.  Definitely worth watching.  She is so damn cute. 

How did I not hear about this Gwyneth GOOP trip??? On Groupon?? 
So ridiculous.... but as the article says.... actually is a serious steal and you would be saving money on flights and hotels even if you didn't give a crap about Gwynnie.  I have just had such a love-hate relationship with her lately..... 

never, ever, ever, ever, do I say that Friends is bad or not funny.
but the Ellen video Jen + all of then did just really upset me. don't do it if it's not funny.
in fact, it was painful to watch. 
and courtney cox on friends was the most beautiful human being ever, and her face can't even more anymore.  lay off the botox a little bit!! 

tara reid was at the fast and furios 97 premiere
that's all.  just hadn't seen her, wasn't sure if she was alive or going all amanda bynes or anything, so thought I'd share she looks decently sober. 

there's reportedly a new NYC housewife
and she is BFF's with Brandi.  Look out! 

crazy Tamra is getting a spinoff for her wedding
can't wait to see this nut-job plan a wedding. 
she actually scares me through the television screen. 

the end of last week's SNL,
when everyone gives hugs and loves for the season finale and cast members leaving
no one touched kanye
and he akwardly looked side to side

Sorry for the inevitable 9 million typos. 
I don't have time to go through and check today. ah!



  1. So many things to discuss. Newlyweds is my favorite new show. I have a weird crush on Tarz. I dont know if I should admit that outloud. He just does not give a what. Also, I would like to be best friends with Blair. My Mom has not stopped talking about the Pickler either. The Rolls Royce situation just makes me hate Gretchen even more. I have to say I am with Vicki on this one. That is all.

  2. scrape me up before you go slow is the BEST EVER!!!! I'm dying over here and I officially love the reporter that used that headline. Way to go! I haven't seen newlyweds yet but I have unfortunatley gotten caught up in Married to Medicine. Tara Reid looks awful, is she trying to dress like a 14 yr old, at least she looks sober. Remember her awesome show Taradise? I miss that

  3. The journalist that picked that headline deserves a pulitzer. That is just genius journalism.

  4. Haven't seen Newlyweds, but am going to have to catch up! And holy crap, Kelly Pickler is so cute and a freaking fantastic dancer
    also? best headline ever about George Michaels alskdjfalkfsja

  5. I wish you had the pop up comment screen, that way I would not have to scroll up and remember what I wanted to say. Poor British humor! Love the show Newlyweds, and I'm interested in the same two you are. Gretchen and Slade are engaged now, and she has a huge ring. That car, did you catch it, is her's to lease if she wants. Nobody bought anything. Jim won't let Alexis go out and act, even if the miracle of an acting job came her way. I'll be watching the Bachelorette this season, because I saw the same preview you did.

  6. Did you hear the rumors that Kanye is GAY!!!!! And that he is with the Givenchy designer and Kim K is his beard? Yeah. Also... you know the evil villain of the day from the Bachelorette!?! Yesssss! I cannot wait! THe only thing that fascinates me about Newlyweds is Tina's lips. Whaaaaaaaat is happening there. I guess I need to ignore them and pay attention to the rest of the show. OK I know a girl who used to be George Michael and his bf's personal assistant...I bet she has some stories!! Scrape me up! xo

  7. OK seriously that Friends thing SUCKED. It was so disappointing and so hard to watch. WTF. And the new housewife, I have that romper thing she is wearing. And I love Nance pants. Thats all

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  9. Literally laughed out loud with the scrape me up before you go go! Good stuff. And if homeboy from Miami is still in Ohio and doesn't get picked for the Bachelorette hook a sister up! And lastly, the Rolls from Slade? I mean seriously? Bro, pay for your kids, buy her a ring that doesn't have a fake yellow stone and THEN maybe buy her a Civic. Just maybe, saving is probably a better idea.

  10. Alexis is so horrible her acting cameo made me so uncomfortable. The rolls Royce that Slyde basically used Gretchens money to buy, no words. And why does he look 65?? Such a loser. Excited about the new housewife and of course Tamara got a spinoff if Bethanny and Kim got one you know she wants it. Tara Reid where has she been??? Looks halfway decent minus the horrible dress. I don't watch DWTS either but did catch replays and Kelli is super cute and her body, freaking amazing!!

  11. wow! i don't watch DWTS, but that modern style of choreography is a lot of what you see on SYTYCD, which is amazeballs. she's so cute and she's gotta be a former dancer - her lines are beautiful!

  12. you're coffee talk posts are THE BEST. Couldn't agree about Alexis- she is SOOO ANNOYING!! ;)